Sasquatch, anyone?

[RobMc]

Ok, just awoken after a troubled two hours sleep, tossing (all I get nowadays) and turning, wondering about the plot. Now we know it's loosely structured on reality ( you live an exciting life) and is not embellished, but as it is a novel perhaps you should. As you are almost there how about making you a James Bond type? working for the State Troopers undercover (yes I know you're in a tent) we'll need the following :-

A plot, change the gold to Uranium wanted to build an illegal bomb destined to blow up Anchorage and cost hundreds of dollars in damages

A baddy, some evil bastard who bunny hops, camps and dependant on your game kills his victims with a Smaw or a knife, the cowardly swine.

A love interest, necessary for the younger audience who still believe, we have already established you are straight? please confirm as doubt still lingers, so James is out then? In that case we'll have you fall in love with a wounded Grizzly you rescue from  5 yard shot from Angu5 that misses all vital organs, he can escape with GG on holiday yet again. I think I have found a bear that fits the part when we issue the film rights, but in the romantic scenes she's made me promise you'll brush your teeth and wear deodarant.

Gadgets, a tricked up snowmobile? robotic huskies? exploding igloos? bald eagle drones with rockets? suicide salmon? let your imagination go wild, oh! it already has.

Get writing

[AyaqGuyaq]

5 hours ago, RobMc said:

Ok, just awoken after a troubled two hours sleep, tossing (all I get nowadays) and turning, wondering about the plot. Now we know it's loosely structured on reality ( you live an exciting life) and is not embellished, but as it is a novel perhaps you should. As you are almost there how about making you a James Bond type? working for the State Troopers undercover (yes I know you're in a tent) we'll need the following :-

A plot, change the gold to Uranium wanted to build an illegal bomb destined to blow up Anchorage and cost hundreds of dollars in damages

A baddy, some evil bastard who bunny hops, camps and dependant on your game kills his victims with a Smaw or a knife, the cowardly swine.

A love interest, necessary for the younger audience who still believe, we have already established you are straight? please confirm as doubt still lingers, so James is out then? In that case we'll have you fall in love with a wounded Grizzly you rescue from  5 yard shot from Angu5 that misses all vital organs, he can escape with GG on holiday yet again. I think I have found a bear that fits the part when we issue the film rights, but in the romantic scenes she's made me promise you'll brush your teeth and wear deodarant.

Gadgets, a tricked up snowmobile? robotic huskies? exploding igloos? bald eagle drones with rockets? suicide salmon? let your imagination go wild, oh! it already has.

Get writing

Lol, bud, I appreciate your "piqued interest."

And your robust imagination and sense of humor ("humour" if you're on the wrong side of "The Pond").

I got the toughest part behind me; i.e., getting started.  The rest of the book will write itself--I just have to paint the pictures using words.

Good idea on mentioning what I carried in my gun-case (spoiler alert:  2 rifles and 1 pistol).

All I have to do is recount each daily experience--yes, daily--that we had with Sasquatch.

One in particular was especially terrifying, because we were literally surrounded at one point--and in the Alaskan twilight of 1:00 a.m. in the summer.  I will do my absolute best to paint the horrifying scenario with my words . . .

Ayaq

[HarryWeezer]

Send me $1,000 and I'll send you a notorized statement with proof of funds, that I will give you $100,000 in cash when any of the following are scientifically shown to exist beyond any dispute whatsoever: bigfoot/susquatch, Loch Ness monster, space aliens, werewolves, vampires, ghosts, spirits, goblins, mermaids, dragons, unicorns, gremlins, banshees or any of the various gods and goddesses.

[TBB]

OK @AyaqGuyaq  enough with the drama - we know you're really writing about your girl friends

[RobMc]

3 hours ago, HarryWeezer said:

Send me $1,000 and I'll send you a notorized statement with proof of funds, that I will give you $100,000 in cash when any of the following are scientifically shown to exist beyond any dispute whatsoever: bigfoot/susquatch, Loch Ness monster, space aliens, werewolves, vampires, ghosts, spirits, goblins, mermaids, dragons, unicorns, gremlins, banshees or any of the various gods and goddesses.

Might take a punt on the aliens Harry, I'm still on the fence on this one, but definitely take a punt on the dragon I married her daughter 

[AyaqGuyaq]

10 hours ago, HarryWeezer said:

Send me $1,000 and I'll send you a notorized statement with proof of funds, that I will give you $100,000 in cash when any of the following are scientifically shown to exist beyond any dispute whatsoever: bigfoot/susquatch, Loch Ness monster, space aliens, werewolves, vampires, ghosts, spirits, goblins, mermaids, dragons, unicorns, gremlins, banshees or any of the various gods and goddesses.

Man, Harry, I wish I had a thermal-vision-capable camera with me on the night I was looking through my Leopold Golden Ring II variable scope at Sasquatch.

I'd be flying us ALL to the >XI< fests if I had one.

One elder in New Stuyahok remarked, "Geez, Paul, you should've shot it--you'd be a millionaire right now!"

I responded with "Dennis, we were surrounded by Sasquatches.  If I shot that one, you would've seen me and Phil's bodies floating down the river a few days later."

After I told "Phil (I see where I forgot to change his name from "James," his real name) to throw more logs on the fire, we could see several pairs of "reflecting eyes" looking at us from the trees.  The white eye-pairs were between 10 - 13' feet off the ground, 100' feet away, and the red eye-pairs were only 4 - 5' high.

They were watching us to see how we would react.  I instinctively knew that if I tried to shoot one with my semi-auto Remington .30-06, we were gonna die.  It's just one of things that you just know.

I will be sure to capture this experience in my book.

I'm a Christian, so I'm not really afraid of dying (spoiler alert:  we're all going to someday), but I remember praying to God that I wanted to see my daughter again, and I really, REALLY, didn't wish to be torn limb-from-limb.

I've been blessed with a photographic memory, so I should be able to convey an accurate picture that--hopefully--make the readers feel like they were there, too.

Ayaq

P.S. - @RobMc, aka "Run D.M.C.," you frickin' crack me up, bud!

[Blackbart]

[RobMc]

5 hours ago, AyaqGuyaq said:

I've been blessed with a photographic memory, so I should be able to convey an accurate picture that--hopefully--make the readers feel like they were there, too.

Ayaq this may be very useful indeed and I already picture myself there, freezing my balls off, shivering in fear as you manfully restrain from the normal practices of your fellows of selecting full auto and wiping out the entire population in a five mile radius. Such care for the wildlife is a rarity in the upper 49th, and I have put you forward, along with your president, for the Nobel Peace prize this year. I trust you will accept as I am looking forward to your speech, stay sober, you recall the last one? If you don't recall it perhaps your photographic memory is not what you think it is?

This is evident by not remembering whether your sleeping bag companion was called Phil or James, is this what you refer to as 'cracking up?' I worry that the strain of being a great adventurer is getting to you my friend, and recommend seeking help before it is too late.

I have done my own reading and that Leopold scope on your gun ain't cheap is it? the hubble telescope is inferior to that. With this in mind remember us mere mortals will wonder why you don't carry a thermal night scope too? If you want advice on shooting the appropriate column in the forums is a wealth of knowledge, although I myself take it 'with a pinch of salt' as their in game performance does not match their imagination.

Looking forward to next chapter

Rob

Edited June 19, 2018 by RobMc

[HarryWeezer]

I don't know what the minimum viable population would be for Susquatch/Yeti/BIgfoot but let's just assume it's just 100 individuals necessary to protect genetic diversity. That's 100 living in and around wherever you were in Alaska when you had your experience. According to this web site - http://www.bfro.net/gdb/ - there have been 22 credible sightings in Alaska of late. If we assume that only half of them represent different areas, then there's around 1,000 individual Susquatch in Alaska. But every state has had sightings and using our formula, California is home to some 20,000 individuals, Washington State is home to 30,000. Nationwide, we're talking hundreds of thousands; worldwide, millions. And so, over the millenia, tens of millions of these creatures have lived, and died. 
Museums should be filled with their bones. But not one single solitary piece of physical evidence has ever been found to demonstrate that this is an unknown species. Not a single bone from all of those dead individuals. And as for the live ones, not one pile of dung, not so much as a single hair has been found which genetically proves their existance. No one has ever shot one, or trapped one, or run over one, or been killed by one.
In short, there is not a shred of evidece that they exist. Nada. And it is impossible for that to be the case if they do exist.
 

[RobMc]

Aw Harry you've burst our bubble, I still think theres lots of undiscovered creatures in the sea, but few on land, Ayaq is going to get one for XI, don't discourage him, you scared it's a better shot than you? 

[HarryWeezer]

1 hour ago, RobMc said:

Aw Harry you've burst our bubble, I still think theres lots of undiscovered creatures in the sea, but few on land, Ayaq is going to get one for XI, don't discourage him, you scared it's a better shot than you? 

Nope. Three awards of the Small Arms Expert Marksmanship ribbon.

[JohnnyNashville]

Send me a PM as soon as your book is for sale, I enjoy all things Sasquatch! 

Thanks in advance,

JohnnyBigFoot

[RobMc]

On 18/06/2018 at 11:47 PM, AyaqGuyaq said:

One elder in New Stuyahok remarked, "Geez, Paul, you should've shot it--you'd be a millionaire right now!"

I responded with "Dennis, we were surrounded by Sasquatches.  If I shot that one, you would've seen me and Phil's bodies floating down the river a few days

Missed this, on second proof read, should an elder be called Dennis ? not very inspiring to readers, how about Great Bear or Bald Eagle ? we have to make it exciting for them, XI members can be very demanding.

I was puzzled about semi auto on the gun, but some research showed me that cowardly politicians had made this law ? How the f..k do they expect you arctic men to feed your families ???? Having witnessed most XI members struggle to hit anything even on full auto, I fear you may need to carry something heavier, as the first round that hits will need to kill.

You need to return again this year to get definite proof, set off after the thaw, leave all your worldly possessions and go back to the wilderness.

Edited June 20, 2018 by RobMc

[BlackRose]

fake

 

[RobMc]

Listen, if Ayaq says he's seen one it must be true, he's never lied before , anyway wheres he gone? he's mia again, probably out in the wilds hunting it?

[AyaqGuyaq]

On ‎6‎/‎20‎/‎2018 at 7:00 PM, RobMc said:

Listen, if Ayaq says he's seen one it must be true, he's never lied before , anyway wheres he gone? he's mia again, probably out in the wilds hunting it?

LMFAO, Run D.M.C.!

 

[RobMc]

Thank God you're still alive !

[AyaqGuyaq]

On ‎6‎/‎21‎/‎2018 at 11:01 PM, RobMc said:

 

Thank God you're still alive !

Hey Run D.M.C., though I've gotten a "doctor's note" excusing me from commercial salmon fishing for two weeks (doesn't help me--in two weeks, ain't nuthin' left but the cryin', 'cause the salmon would be long gone up the river systems.  Not like crab fishing, where they wait for you to catch 'em), I'm gonna call my buddy in Manokotak after he's done fishing.

Last I talked to him, he's already got over 100,000 pounds of sockeyes, worth about $200k (about 150,000 English pounds--couldn't find the symbol for "Lira."  Lol.), but he's told me about a spot where he found a 2-pound (1.5 English pounds) gold nugget.

Not gonna tell you what he sold it for.

I'm a-gonna convince him to build a platform 20+ feet (6.5+ metres, if you're English or French-Canadian) off the ground so we can escape the clutches of Sasquatch.

He's like my brother; he'll fall for my ploy--er, believe my "plan."

Not Sasquatch, my buddy from Manokotak, you silly.

Ayaq's adventures will continue.

Wish I was still fishing; missing out of 14% of $2-per-pound salmon, but doctor said I was lucky to still be typin', much less walkin'.

More on this later, you son-of-a-maracka!

That's a lovingly, tenderly, aptly-named moniker I've only shared with the likes of Sweet @Chicken Finger.

We're gonna build the platform so it's just within Sasquatch's reach, lol.

Ayaq

P.S. - I musta been a U.S. Marine (tried to join when I was 17 years old, but perforated eardrum got me rejected) in a previous life, 'cause I woulda gone down fightin'!)

Edited July 20, 2018 by AyaqGuyaq
Couldn't get Sweet Chicken Finger added, what da?

[AyaqGuyaq]

If only I had a Sweet Lady of >XI< to hold while I clutch my semi-auto .30-06 at night . . .

Ayaq

[Streetcleaner]

look Dude if you keep smokin' that fat back bacon you're sure to get the attention of Shaq ...and there you go.....proof that Shaq was in your backyard.Question:did you come up a little short on your bacon?....

Dammit Shaq !!     

[RobMc]

5 hours ago, AyaqGuyaq said:

If only I had a Sweet Lady of >XI< to hold while I clutch my semi-auto .30-06 at night . . .

Ayaq

My God Ayaq, you still need to sleep with a weapon?, even at home recovering, what's the problem? polar bears, rough neighbourhood, jealous husbands??? You stay alert my friend, XI need you, my limited experiences of the sweet ladies of XI are not quite yours. They seem to like screaming and shouting at you, then are only too happy to kill you, I sometimes feel like a male praying mantis, sacrificed to better their score.

I'm excited about the gold, does it just lie around?? I watch Aussie gold hunters and they seem to have trouble finding it, more trouble than it's worth in my opinion. I myself am lying around, shagged out after knitting a particularly difficult crew neck, the sacrifices I make daily for the greater good of XI.

I'm running short of wool, which is strange considering where I live in the wilds of the borders I'm surrounded by sheep. Unlike you I'm not courageous enough to go out and forage, we have some particularly vicious rabbits who do suicide charges at your car, it is only a matter of time before one of them manages to detonate their vests. So for safety reasons I now don't go out , and live my fantasies through your courageous and interesting life, you are a brave man my buddy. So I too must resupply, should it be amazon, or ebay? difficult decisions I encounter weekly, just like you.

I pray for your speedy recovery my friend, I lie here watching ancient aliens trembling about the earths future, my knitting needles shake,  will I see another cardigan???

[AyaqGuyaq]

32 minutes ago, RobMc said:

My God Ayaq, you still need to sleep with a weapon?, even at home recovering, what's the problem? polar bears, rough neighbourhood, jealous husbands??? You stay alert my friend, XI need you, my limited experiences of the sweet ladies of XI are not quite yours. They seem to like screaming and shouting at you, then are only too happy to kill you, I sometimes feel like a male praying mantis, sacrificed to better their score.

I'm excited about the gold, does it just lie around?? I watch Aussie gold hunters and they seem to have trouble finding it, more trouble than it's worth in my opinion. I myself am lying around, shagged out after knitting a particularly difficult crew neck, the sacrifices I make daily for the greater good of XI.

I'm running short of wool, which is strange considering where I live in the wilds of the borders I'm surrounded by sheep. Unlike you I'm not courageous enough to go out and forage, we have some particularly vicious rabbits who do suicide charges at your car, it is only a matter of time before one of them manages to detonate their vests. So for safety reasons I now don't go out , and live my fantasies through your courageous and interesting life, you are a brave man my buddy. So I too must resupply, should it be amazon, or ebay? difficult decisions I encounter weekly, just like you.

I pray for your speedy recovery my friend, I lie here watching ancient aliens trembling about the earths future, my knitting needles shake,  will I see another cardigan???

Hehehehhehehehehhawhehaeheaheheheheahe!!!!

You crazy bastige, you!

Love you, man, in a non-gay kinda way.

On this beloved Earth (God help us, we treat her dirty), you only live once.

In Alaska, you live to extremes.

One village--Fort Yukon, Alaska (Google it)--has the world's record for the greatest temperature "swings" in the world.  It suffers temperatures of -60 degrees Fahrenheit in the winter to +100 F. in the summer.  Fully a 160 degree swing.

I made some money this summer (haven't gotten paid yet, Captain is still fishing without me, and can't blame him--who would?), but I don't think I made enough to do what I wanted.

Who makes enough money?  Money is the root of all evil.

That's what people who don't have any money say, any way.

Lol.

You can't take it with you. 

I used to make lots of money, but since I've lost everything, I've never felt closer to our God.

Any-hoo, we need an emoticon for which expresses you're Laughing Your Frickin' Ass off!!

You, kind sir, whose sheep don't say "Baaaaahh," but instead say "Naaahhh!!!" on seeing your approach, are emoticon-worthy.

"LMFAO!!!" emoticon-worthy.

On this rapidly-warming Earth, we have to make the most of it.

Be kind to people, as I'm sure you are, gentle sir.

As a side note, I was gone fishin' for 2.5 weeks, and the Angry Birds 2 Leader demoted me from Co-Leader.  I 'splained that I had to leave in a hurry (read one of my earlier posts), so couldn't 'splain.  I invariably take Top Spot in Clan Battles (ask @Jeroen v.2, who left--I did, too--because the Leader kept ridin' his skinny ass for not playing Challenges), and said I was gonna leave his Clan after the current Battle, 'cause I've never been demoted before, yadda, frickin' yadda.

He made everyone on our team Co-Leaders (Team KicksAss, btw, join up!).

Any-hoo, back to all that's germane, you crazy bastige, you.

Ayaq 

[RobMc]

Bit confused about your 'loving me', googled 'gay' and yes I am a happy man who enjoys life to the full, my collection of patterns and needles is the envy of the local W.I. Do you know I too have noticed that sheep run away from me? do you think they imagine I am after their fur? 

I understand what you say about money not making you happier, luckily I have a wife who thinks I am a millionaire, I'm so so happy, and possibly gay now I know the meaning of gay? I'm poor, the wife, butler and handmaid are also poor, we are a happy foursome in our dark lonely castle on the moors. As I type this the mist is creeping over the moor and the weredeer are howling, it is so remote here there isn't an atm for 5 miles or a supermarket for 6, but we cope thanks to your support.

Funny you should talk about fishing, I'm lying here watching man vs fish, we could drop the squatch and go for fish, what is the largest most vicious species there? oh yes, can you swim??? more exciting for the readers if you can't, you can learn on the job. I love kippers and live near a famous kipper fishery, fortunately for me, apparently they smoke them. I have suggested to them they would be great XI prospects , as some of our members seem to smoke anything. XI kippers should therefore command a high market price ( get it?), I'll stick to champagne.

Edited July 21, 2018 by RobMc

[Dessy]

On 27-4-2018 at 11:31 AM, Timmah! said:

Sasquatches be REAL, yo; they's the ones makin' all them crop circles!

timmah got one in his cellar  he  likes them popsicles

[AyaqGuyaq]

2 hours ago, RobMc said:

Bit confused about your 'loving me', googled 'gay' and yes I am a happy man who enjoys life to the full, my collection of patterns and needles is the envy of the local W.I. Do you know I too have noticed that sheep run away from me? do you think they imagine I am after their fur? 

I understand what you say about money not making you happier, luckily I have a wife who thinks I am a millionaire, I'm so so happy, and possibly gay now I know the meaning of gay? I'm poor, the wife, butler and handmaid are also poor, we are a happy foursome in our dark lonely castle on the moors. As I type this the mist is creeping over the moor and the weredeer are howling, it is so remote here there isn't an atm for 5 miles or a supermarket for 6, but we cope thanks to your support.

Funny you should talk about fishing, I'm lying here watching man vs fish, we could drop the squatch and go for fish, what is the largest most vicious species there? oh yes, can you swim??? more exciting for the readers if you can't, you can learn on the job. I love kippers and live near a famous kipper fishery, fortunately for me, apparently they smoke them. I have suggested to them they would be great XI prospects , as some of our members seem to smoke anything. XI kippers should therefore command a high market price ( get it?), I'll stick to champagne.

'Nuff said.

Lol.

Fuck you, @Sonovabich, for calling me "stupid," and Fuck you for suggesting that the Russians coulda won WWII without the help of the Americans.

Fuck you, ungrateful bastard!

Ayaq