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[FLDMARSHAL]

To all my friends i hope this is not real but if its real we all need to pray and keep our familys close and prepare underground bunkers are no good check this out

Folks, you have until March 22 to get your preps in order!
It's plausible for sure, but I sure hope not! But just critically thinking what better way to get people to prepare in a more orderly controlled fashion with a low-level virus threat vs. telling them multiple asteroids could possibly impact the Earth and to prepare yourselves by locking down at your homes. I'm sure there would be mass looting everywhere, and stores would be empty in minutes with much more in chaos, looting, theft, riots, etc.

What is coming on March 22, 2020?

ssd.jpl.nasa.gov/...

And if you look at the second link you'll find 0 min dist (au) for the NEO on 3/22/20 and another 0 min dist (au) on 6/2/20. Stay safe brothers and sisters!

newton.spacedys.com/... 

 

We are getting ready to go through an asteroid belt (as we call it, TPTB have another name for what is incoming) that will be deadly. Jupiter may take the brunt of it but not enough. They know the trajectory of about 80% of them, but the other 20% they do not know yet. The time frame of this event could be as near as 3 – 6 months. More on this later.

The elite’s know this is coming but are having to abandon their underground bunkers. They are being abandoned because of the earth’s core heating up via the incoming radiation...this was something they did not plan on when initially building the bunkers. Giant cracks are forming in the earth and underground is not the best place to be and many of them are becoming compromised and taking in water.

To add insult to injury as discussed before on this forum is that big earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, wild extreme weather, loss of fresh water supply, displacement of oceans will all start to happen before the arrival of these asteroids too. The earth simply cannot sustain all of the incoming radiation.

 

 

Edited March 18, 2020 by FLDMARSHAL

[RobMc]

OMG 

All we need now is the fucking martians and we can have a full house of end of the world scenarios, get a grip and man up.

Any of you married ?? then for the rest of you hear what we've learned :-

Your wife goes to get her hair done and when she comes back it looks like a combine harvester has cut it

A/. Do you tell her the truth, endure weeks of tears and cold shoulders, find your bedroom habits stopped and be reminded on your deathbed, or

B/. Say it looks lovely ?

Answers below please

Update went and checked and as suspected this is bullshit, There are asteroids constantly passing 'near' three this month between 300,000 and a million miles. The one next month is a large one expected to pass around 300,000 miles and may even be visible. There are no, and I repeat no, close encounters in the near future on their database. If you have put this in to cause further panic you ought to be ashamed.

Edited March 18, 2020 by RobMc

[SgT.Chris]

I chose c go into hibernation with a couple of crates in the woods then pop to the Winchester and wait for all this to blow over

[RobMc]

27 minutes ago, SgT.Chris said:

I chose c go into hibernation with a couple of crates in the woods then pop to the Winchester and wait for all this to blow over

Good man, send Shiny up to ours for the end of the world, Uncle Rob will look after her, I have our final 30 seconds planned.

[Kitsune]

2 minutes ago, RobMc said:

Good man, send Shiny up to ours for the end of the world, Uncle Rob will look after her, I have our final 30 seconds planned.

Um excuse me sir??

[FLDMARSHAL]

If you have put this in to cause further panic you ought to be ashamed.

if u read the very begining ov my post it says  To all my friends i hope this is Not real but if its Real we all need to pray and keep our familys close and prepare underground bunkers are no good i can read and it does not read this is to cause further panic  look deeper for a start why would marshal law get involved for a virus think man instead of flaming people posts sorry about spelling and grammer peice out

 

And ... you are right! It won't even be close! At least not as close as the Moon.

Closest object distance to Earth = ~0.009 AU = 1,346,381 KM = 836,602 MI.
From The Earth To The Moon is 384,403 KM = 238,857 MI;
(not only a distance but a great story and a great movie)
The object's closest approach will be approximately 2.176x further away than the moon (average distance).
Given the Moon's diameter at 3,476 KM and the object's diameter at 4.1 KM, the object should exert 0.0011795x of the gravitational pull that the Moon does on Earth.
Given the additional distance of the object from Earth (compared to the Moon), we come up with a gravitational effect of (0.0011795 / 2.176 = 0.0000542). This equates to 542 one-hundred-millionths of 1%.
Based on all these calculations, and the arrival time predicted by NASA and other agencies, I estimate that if we both turn our asses towards the object at precisely 2020-Mar-22 19:34 (give or take a minute) and simultaneously emit the largest farts we've ever produced, our gaseous anomaly should be sufficient to counteract the gravitational anomaly. Of course, due to the precision error of up to one minute, we should each be prepared to fart 3 times, at one-minute intervals from 2020-Mar-22 19:33 to 2020-Mar-22 19:35. This will give us a whopping 3x FF (Flatulence Force), and the world will once again be safe, if not so pleasantly aromatic. But with a useless Coronavirus mask on, who actually gives a crap?

Your thoughts? thinkscratch

Edited March 18, 2020 by FLDMARSHAL

[RobMc]

You run a crack joint ?

[Timmah!]

Hammer, is that you?

[Labob]

Damit will I need toilet paper for this too. ???

[TBB]

50 minutes ago, Labob said:

Damit will I need toilet paper for this too. ???

Nah - you already shit your brains out along with the rest of us

[Sammy]

8 hours ago, RobMc said:

Your wife goes to get her hair done and when she comes back it looks like a combine harvester has cut it

A/. Do you tell her the truth, endure weeks of tears and cold shoulders, find your bedroom habits stopped and be reminded on your deathbed, or

B/. Say it looks lovely ?

Is there a C/ option?

[Twinkie 13]

sounds like a close encounter of the turd kind

[HotRod55]

LMAO!

[RobMc]

14 hours ago, ShinyAbsol said:

Um excuse me sir??

You're right Shiny, 30 seconds is a bit hopeful, realistically aim for 10

[Kitsune]

1 hour ago, RobMc said:

You're right Shiny, 30 seconds is a bit hopeful, realistically aim for 10

No yeah 10 seconds before you throw your back out probably

[HarryWeezer]

   FLDMARSHAL:
   As Almighty God, I greet you. I speak My Holy Words directly to you through my son, Harry Weezer.
   Yes, it is true. I shall destroy the people of the world just as I did 1,656 years after I Created the universe. I shall do so with a great meteor strike, bringing fire and brimstone upon the world to rid it of sinners and while I'm at it, the coronavirus. 
   I do this because most of the people have lost faith in me, all but members of XI, who continue to worship the one and only true God. And so I will use you to reward them. And for this, you, FLDMASHAL, will sit at my right hand when all is but dust in the world.
   I command you to sell all that you own, even thine computer, even thine car and thine abode, and to send all of this money to Rugger, who will then distribute it to all the members of XI in mine Holy Name. I further command you to rob, to steal, to pilfer, at gunpoint and any other means, to add to these presents that I give my worshippers in XI.
   I shall delay my holy meteor strike until you have done these things, and until the members of XI take what pleasures they will from my Holy gift to them. These things you will do in My Holy Name or the shit will hittith the fan.
Sincerely,
God

[RobMc]

12 minutes ago, HarryWeezer said:

I further command you to rob

I don't want the fckr ???

[Kitsune]

 

18 minutes ago, HarryWeezer said:

I further command you to rob

 

6 minutes ago, RobMc said:

I don't want the fckr ???

There you go Rob, you can have your 30 seconds with @FLDMARSHAL instead have fun lads!

[RobMc]

17 minutes ago, ShinyAbsol said:

 

 

There you go Rob, you can have your 30 seconds with @FLDMARSHAL instead have fun lads!

You can be cruel, hope he brushes his teeth

[Kitsune]

You gotta take one for the team here thinking of you

[RobMc]

17 minutes ago, ShinyAbsol said:

You gotta take one for the team here thinking of you

Sorry, self isolating from now, put the lube on hold

[Kitsune]

 

19 hours ago, RobMc said:

Good man, send Shiny up to ours for the end of the world, Uncle Rob will look after her, I have our final 30 seconds planned.

12 minutes ago, RobMc said:

Sorry, self isolating from now, put the lube on hold

Welp. Guess I'm not gonna be needed then

Edited March 19, 2020 by ShinyAbsol

[Krackennutz]

Hmm sounds bit like TV series,but in my line of work we have solutions if you would like to call 555 6754321 charged at $25 per min i will surely be of no use......

 

ps if that would happen like most would rather not know anyway and enjoy ourselves....bad enough with this virus....ps will be starring on Left4Dead 3 as a standin

[RobMc]

1 hour ago, Krackennutz said:

but in my line of work we have solutions if you would like to call 555 6754321 charged at $25 per min

Wow! did as you suggested and sounds great, could I book a full rub down in body oil, a bit of mild correction, and some water sports as a birthday present for a friend?? always assumed you were a boy?? do you take Paypal ?

[VHS2]

21 hours ago, ShinyAbsol said:

 

Welp. Guess I'm not gonna be needed then

In France, everything finishes with songs. It doesn't seem to be the same in the UK.