Leaderboard

A few years ago I found out that one of my old friends from my UT 2000 gaming days killed himself. He was super depressed. His girlfriend at the time was cheating on him and she was pregnant with another mans kid. He pretty much did everything he could for her and nothing worked. He disappeared for years, and then I found out he killed himself due to depression. He stopped talking to everyone, stayed to himself, he had a good job, but the pain was eating him up inside. We all go through things in life, and we have our ups and downs, but if anyone who is reading this has thoughts of ending their life or ever has, you need to reach out to someone - XI or not. We are gamers, but most importantly, we are a family.

As someone who was severaly depressed and suicidal a good 5-6 years ago now, I can tell ya, it isn't easy. I really feel for you fuckstick, going through that loss of a friend in such a way is terrible. I almost offed myself a few years ago, planned it out and everything but the one thing that stopped me was that I didn't want my mom to be sad. And such a silly sounding thing was the one key thing that kept me on this earth. Now I have so many more reasons. It took me three sets of therapy and a different assortment of medications and massive life changes to get me better and to where I am now. There IS help out there for people who need it, but I hate the stigma of "man up" or "get over it." Stuff like that doesn't help. Yes I am better than I was 5-6 years ago but I am a long way from being top-ticket. I get bad bouts; ended up in hospital last November because of my anxiety and depression and only recently finished therapy and getting help. I hear you there completely Timmah, it changes you but you can get through it, you and I are living examples that this stuff is possible to get through. The help I got got me through it and taught me so many life lessons that I try to pass on to others when they too are troubled.

Heyyyy.... I had the distinct pleasure of living major clinical depression in my 20's. Words can't describe the many layers, facets, breadth & depth of major depression. It excoriates you, warps your sense of self; shit, it changes who you are. Everything takes on a tinge of desolation; the sun seems blisteringly cold & the mornings were- for me- the worst. Apathy, melancholy, anger, paranoia, deep sadness way out of proportion to anything happening in one's life. I was fortunate to find a counselor to walk with me through my travails & provide me with the skills my parents couldn't & didn't. On the bright side, there's not much that can trouble me any more & I have a greater true appreciation of life & its joys.

Timmah, Bama and Painkiller thank you for sharing your personal struggles with depression. I believe most people struggle with it at some level at some point in life, whether they've identified it as depression or anxiety or not. I'm generally pretty optimistic and upbeat, but I've been to some dark places in my 56 years. I've sought therapy and it helped. Talking through it with people who understand or care works for me and when I start feeling low, I reach out. I've lost a couple of friends to suicide and I have a lot of people in my life who are in a constant struggle with anxiety and depression. I'm here for them to listen, talk, whatever they want. Same is true for any of you. What a great group of people this is! Proud to be a part of XI

LOL ROB, getting off the floor now, and wiping laughter tears off my eyes. Yes, believe it or not, I on occasion do kill successfully with my little three shot wonder, just got lucky hehe. NOW ABOUT DEPRESSION: Yes, I think most of us know at least one person who has killed himself/herself. We are complicated we really, really are. How many of us from time to time get super depressed and so on? I think this modern society of ours is not super great for us. Too many folks live alone, especially the older generation! They are super lonely. Just driving to and fro everywhere stopping at every damn intersection for the light is super depressing for many. We need sunshine, we need community, we need to be productive and so on. I have found that groups with similar issues really help, for example, I have chronic migraines and it sucks! I have a group of folks and we all discuss our migraine stuff and we feel so much better being able to complain, sympathize, and be in this together in our group. I think of it as group counseling. Another thing, some folks brains just don't have enough "happy stuff" in them, hence the meds like PROZAC works! To anyone who talks about suicide, or being depressed, I do mention the benefits of Antidepressants. It helps the brain get back to where it is supposed to be, with plenty of Serotonin. https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/serotonin But wait there is more:

Depression and anxiety problems are huge, and most men don't like to talk about problems to others. I can tell you for a fact that just talking about it with another friend, or even a professional, is a big boost to getting better. I've been there, and many others have too. Seeking out someone you can just talk to about it is a big step to recovering and getting your life back in order. I speak from experience.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7KBcsdPhxA

New rotation maps are map mp_1078brecourt map mp_82ab_richemont map mp_agx_eindhoven map mp_anzio_beach map mp_beach_redeaux map mp_beuvron map mp_bf1942_berlin map mp_cityhall2 map mp_dock_assault map mp_snr_matmata map mp_stronghold map mp_gb_karkand map mp_industrial map mp_kiev map mp_mohdm7 map mp_oldbrecourt map mp_prague map mp_salerno map mp_snr_freedom2 map mp_dumont map mp_falaise5

Have you ever logged your diet? I've known a couple people whose migraines were mainly caused by certain foods; or so they concluded.

@Trailrtrash we know this one is all you my friend

Really like this song.

Am I weird for liking this song? lol

@Icequeen Kissy Kissy lol

New rotation maps are mp_82ab_crossing map mp_agx_castle map mp_agx_shinu map mp_arroyo map mp_caen2 map mp_sps_kiebu map mp_cityhall2 map mp_dundygrad map mp_crash_day map mp_kilian map mp_kwanriver map mp_matmata map mp_southfrance map mp_canal2 map mp_stalemate_1 map mp_supply_depot map mp_dogville map mp_warehouse map mp_wbridge map mp_xfire_bay

XtremeIdiots would like to wish all members celebrating their birthday today a happy birthday. CplMOFO (48)MadMonk64 (75)Damage_inc- (54)Neo's Evil Twin (49)

Sorry to hear about your loss friend. Good that your talking about it and reaching out to others here.

Now Rob jokes about everything, but please listen to me, great pressures are put upon young people now, far more than in the past. Please please use your brains and think yourself out of any suicidal thoughts, simply because nothing will be accomplished, only deep sorrow for those you leave. You ARE NOT too fat, too thin, not cool, ugly, thick, etc etc etc, these thoughts are programmed into you by others, once you realise that deal with it. The way to deal with it is not to take your own life, but to live the life you're given, it may not be the dream life, but it is yours. Life is very precious, and I know as I am nearing the end of mine, those who speak here I play with daily, they are nice normal people despite what they might think. Everyone gets down on occasion, especially in your teens, you must work your way out of depression, and I mean 'work'. It is easy to lapse into laziness, laziness means not caring, not caring means low self esteem, low self esteem encourages suicidal thoughts. There will be many idiots in this position, get out of it by literally working, I'm not talking about a job necessarily, I'm talking about giving something, and getting it in return, but without an effort it will never happen, work at something it is the path out. You may never be on Love Island, or a millionaire, or a celebrity, but if you can hold your head up in society as someone who tried you will be a hero in all our lives. Don't ever give up. Rob (who almost died 2 weeks ago)

I think the title Socialist Country is misused for the most part. Some countries, like China, (see the bottom quote) might be worded as a Socialist Country, but in my mind it is plain and simple Communist / Dictatorship - like. When I think of real, working, functioning well Socialist Countries, I think of ones that are based on Capitalism yet with a wide range of social programs. The list below of countries, THOSE are what I think of as the real McCoy of Socialist Countries. These countries below are the best examples of what some folks think of by the term Socialist Countries, which I disagree - nope they are Communist - Dictatorship - like imho. 2 more cents tossed in.

I'm contemplating suicide, 3 times last week I was killed by MajBasil ?

I know I'm late to the party, just wanted to add this. Basil hung an argument on Finland, and I don't believe it holds up. While Finns enjoy an expansive social safety net, good pensions, and robust sick and family leave protections, their economy cannot be characterized in good faith as socialist. Finland is a thoroughly capitalist nation: Some people make lots of money, and others make very little. But Finland has chosen a more inclusive form of capitalism that ensures that the wealthiest Finns pay their fair share in taxes while the poorest Finns don't suffer for lack of access to food, clothing, shelter, and medical care. In so doing, they've redefined what freedom means in the modern world. They have struck a pretty good balance between social issues and free market. They also do not deal with the diversity that most countries have to manage. Ethnic Finnish people make up about 96.5% of the population.. just an observation, not a mandate for ethnic cleansing

New rotation in on the bolts servers. // DM Rotation 3 20 maps map mp_78bathroom map mp_algiers map mp_all_out map mp_anzio_beach map mp_beach_redeaux map mp_bgate map mp_boneville map mp_crash_day map mp_cw_abandoned map mp_deadwood map mp_decoytrenches map mp_drum map mp_frenchvillage map mp_gardenofheat map mp_get_lost_3 map mp_iceworld map mp_ict_stone map mp_jsvacant map mp_leningrad map mp_line_of_fire Cheers

Thank you Merlin

The next rotation for DM3 is now running. Small map rotation map mp_asylum map mp_dugin map mp_hhk_yokora map mp_killhouse map mp_maquina_viet map mp_ripac map mp_villa Medium map rotation map mp_78outpost map mp_agx_depot2 map mp_all_out map mp_beertruck map mp_snr_carentan map mp_cityhall2 map mp_cw_burgundy map mp_deadwood map mp_drum map mp_freedom1 map mp_haguenau map mp_kneedeep map mp_marsh map mp_myths_farm map mp_overleaf map mp_ravine_v1 map mp_cassino5 map mp_snrwcarentan map mp_subway map mp_warehouse map mp_xi_nowhere Large map rotation map mp_1078carentan map mp_82ab_nomonha map mp_altered map mp_ax_trainwreck map mp_bocage3 map mp_castle map mp_cw_bocage map mp_downfall map mp_gb_karkand map mp_industrial map mp_kiev map mp_little_village map mp_nazaire map mp_panzerfact map mp_rhinevalleygits map mp_shallowgrave map mp_southfrance map mp_stanjel map mp_trenchtoast map mp_vm_river map mp_xi_shiro Cheers

Thanks Merlin !

The next rotation for DM1 is now running. Small map rotation map mp_africorp_rmk map mp_bridge map mp_gardenofheat map mp_lichtung map mp_meatgrinder map mp_pmcod map mp_snr_seals_2 Medium map rotation map mp_agx_depot1_night map mp_alcazaba map mp_asylum map mp_bf1942_berlin map mp_poolshark map mp_cassino5 map mp_cw_breakout map mp_deadwood map mp_dropzone map mp_frenchvillagen map mp_hunt_winter map mp_line_of_fire map mp_louret map mp_mohdv2 map mp_newvillers2 map mp_pavlov_h map mp_ravine_v1 map mp_snr_matmata map mp_tge map mp_waw_burgundy map mp_byalistok Large map rotation map mp_13_townville map mp_agxdepo map mp_ax_trainwreck map mp_sfrance_nite map mp_byalistok map mp_camp_merc map mp_cw_strasbourg map mp_ederdam map mp_gtown44 map mp_kharkov map mp_lost_temple map mp_outskirts map mp_renan_bridge map mp_bridgefthunt map mp_southfrance map mp_suburban map mp_ugcarena map mp_vodka map mp_xi_shima Cheers

Thank you Merlin !

Happy Birthday guys !

That is very painful thing to go through. Sorry about your friend. Love ya @FunStick

I'm so sorry to hear this happened to your friend. I've lost a friend to suicide myself and I don't think I ever fully recovered from it, you always get the 'what if' feeling hanging over you. I make it a point to be there for people now, even if I come across as overbearing or clingy, I want them to know that I care and will hear them out.

I laugh at your shit. And then I hate myself for laughing at your shit. And then I think about it and I say "That's one funny m'fer" and then i hate myself all over again.

Yes it is. Sad when Ford quit paying dividends. But I thought they were going to start again some time in 2021. Our Overstock stock really gained during the pandemic along with AMD. But I have a small fund I play with and gamble on risky companies. Some times it works other times I dump and take a loss to offset any gains. Damn marihuana stocks during the pot rush a few years back were fun !!! Some did great, others meh. I remember way way back when cd roms were just hitting the market. There was a company that had a new technology that far exceeded both speed and storage space of standard cd roms on the market. We invested in it, and like any new tech, it was not adopted. Sort of like the whole VHS/Beta thing. Beta picture was far better and smaller, but it just didn't take off. Sony's fault of course. But Plextor dominated CD Roms and that company went under. Cant remember its name for the life of me !!

A website that is less than a month old and when checking out the relevant public information related to the domain everything about it and who runs it is hidden. Not even a website admin email to send something to. Tells us all we need to know.

It is a super fun game! XI has three servers! https://www.conanexiles.com/blog/conan-exiles-free-to-play-on-steam-this-week/

Spezially for Wildthing don´t pass my to defrost a other Player earlyer then my.

Seven easy steps to make your own tin foil hat. 1. Measure your head. Gather the dimensions of your scalp, using a soft tape measure, measuring from the middle of your forehead to the base of your skul. 2. Unroll tinfoil. Using clean, premium-brand foil that has not been used to wrap food, measure double the length from your forehead to skull, plus four inches. Detach the foil using the serrated edge of the box and fold the foil in half, shiny side facing out. 3. Mold the hat to your head. Carefully place the sheet of foil over your head and scrunch it down to follow the shape of your skull, as would a shower cap or helmet. If any exposed scalp remains, attach additional pieces of foil to cover; adhere using clear tape. 4. At each temple, poke a quarter-inch hold on either side of the foil. 5. Create a chin strap. Unroll an additional thee-inch strip of foil and fold it over twice, creating a durable, doulbe-folded chin strap. 6. Thread the chin strap through the holes and attack with clear tape. 7. Don your hat. Wear your hat in any placeand anytime you wish to screen your thoughts from extraterrestrial-alien, governmental or other types of surveillances.

Anyone playing Phasmophobia? Let me know and we can get a game going

ha! i got 14038 profile views, thank you for stoppin' by. hugs to all those who check my profile out.