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XtremeIdiots would like to wish all members celebrating their birthday today a happy birthday. Morris (60)

A couple take on an 18 year old girl as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath but the woman of the house told her they didn't have a bathroom and she could use a tin bath in front of the fire. "Mondays the best night, when my husband goes out to darts", she said, so the girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday. After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman filled the bath and watched as the girl got undressed. She was surprised to see that the lass didn't have any pubic hair and told her husband when he came home. He didn't believe her so she said, "Next week I'll leave a gap in the curtains so that you can see for yourself". The following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wife asked, "Do you shave?" "No", replied the girl. "I've just never grown any hairs down there. Do you have hairs?" "Oh yes", said the woman and she showed off her great, hairy muff. When the husband got back in she asked, "Did you see it?" "Yes", he said. "But why did you have to show her yours?" "Why not?" she said. "You've seen it all before." "I know", he said, "but the darts team hasn't"!

happy birthday all have a belta . DECKARD mmm need ta question that one lol

HB....

Happy Birthday

i finally found out where you lot get your butt nades from !!!

Happy birthday

Have a GREAT birthday!!!!

Bedtime it is, wife says that's fine How does a Union leader begin to read his kids stories at bedtime?? 'Once upon a time and a half'

Happy birthday

Happy Birthday folks especially @Elvis9 who helps keep the games fun!

You can choose

Happy Birthday everyone.

If I were a dirty old man I'd type bedtime story ??? What would you like dear on the 13th? a bedtime story???

First paragraph, but don't worry all will get their turn

Can i have a story like this on my bday Rob?

Rob were is CoD5 digs, guess not to mess with best eah LoL

Erasumus Shuttlecock opened his eyes slowly and grudgingly, he didn’t want the dream to go away. Last night he had wiped the floor with Pink, P3nhead, Fry,Sharpe and all the other wannabe great players in COD4. He was now the greatest player Ftag had ever seen. This completed the set, he’d already headed the field in COD2 and WAW, surely now they would bestow on him the ultimate honour, to join the clan and eventually oust the Seniors and reign supreme in the world of gaming. After all he was a young 47, still living with mam and dad, but with years of gaming ahead of him, to which his life was dedicated. Occasionally he longed for a girlfriend you didn’t have to inflate, but hey ho, every great player makes sacrifices don’t they? Besides which he knew she loved him judging by the squeaks and hisses when he kissed her. The only drawback was that he knew everyone hated him, even more than that Robmc, and boy was he hated. That was the problem, you had to get asked and no one would talk to him, they all faked stealth mode now when he played. The man who had asked Robmc all those years ago had been punished by wandering around in limbo, looking for someone to play with, R.I.P. Beers. No one would risk asking him to join, they’d be fed to Piglo in an instant, a fate worse than playing all morning with MajBasil, they wouldn’t risk that? He could join Essssieeee, Dot and Bio on their Ftag server, but he knew what happened to those getting close to Essssieeee by Rob, no on second thoughts MajBasil would be a preferable fate. So how to do it?? And then he had a thought?? How about if I married into the Clan?? Brilliant, couldn’t refuse me then, might even make some tiny idiots for Piglo to feed on. He looked through the members section, picturing the wedding already, surrounded by gamers, headsets on and frantic with energy, wait until she saw his joystick, it was a done deal. They could honeymoon at the next conference, now who should he choose?? Better start at the top he thought :- Gatorgirl, risky?, I’d have to contend with her Texan cowboy bodyguard, armed to the teeth WldPenguin, possible, but too much competition in game, sexy voice distracting Sally, a definite probable love her ftag server, would mean changes in my gaming Ausigirl, too far away to return to Mam and Dad if things went ‘tit’s up’. CrazyGirl, the name puts me off AthenaA, Lovely lady but I don’t speak French, already has loads of kids Essssieeee?, no chance of getting between Rob and Bio, they’d destroy me with prose or germs Moving down to members it hit me like a SledgeHammer, how did I miss her, the perfect woman for me. ICEQUEEN, it ‘s so obvious, a quiet homely girl, not wild like the others, demure, quiet and deadly with a ‘weapon’, especially the larger ones. I’ll PM her a.s.a.p. with my proposal, how could she resist? I’ll let you know who’s invited to the wedding. Soon I’ll be an Idiot, just like all my friends

A rugby player is drinking in a London bar, when he gets a call on his mobile phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders around of drinks for everybody in the bar, announcing his wife has just given birth to a typical Yorkshire baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds. The Rugby player just shrugs and replies, that's about average in Yorkshire... like I said, my boy's a typical Yorkshire baby boy. Gonna be a big strong rugby player and play for England . Congratulations showered him from all around, amid many exclamations of 'WOW!' One woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains. Two weeks later, he returns to the bar. The bartender says, 'Say, aren't you the father of that typical Yorkshire baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth? Everybody's been making bets about how big he'd be in two weeks. So, how much does he weigh now?' The proud father answers, 'Twenty pounds.' The bartender is puzzled, concerned and a little suspicious. 'What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born!' The Yorkshire man takes a slow swig of his Samuel Smith's real ale, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says: 'Had him circumcised...'

XtremeIdiots would like to wish all members celebrating their birthday today a happy birthday. Deckard (60)daviddwigh (71)sirtrojan (48)