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Happy Birthday

There was a flash, followed almost instantly by a tremendous flash of thunder, as though coming on stage out popped the head of the baby boy. The rest of him followed quickly and picking him up the midwife took one look then slapped the father. It had been a long gruelling birth and the mother was exhausted, aching all over her body. The midwife placed the tiny baby in her arms and the new mother burst into tears, ‘Are you certain he’s mine’ she cried, he’s so ugly? ‘Oh he’s definitely yours’ said the Midwife, ‘but I’m not so sure he’s the fathers’? ‘Look at him, eyes like two knots in an Oak plank, chisel jawed, ears like handles and a mouth like an open door, this baby has a purpose in life. The exhausted mother then proudly announced his name, I’m going to call him Jointz after my pains, the father Arthur Itis nodded his agreement, and his future was sealed. His prevalence and love of everything to do with carpentry and wood began as a baby, he wouldn’t play with plastic toys or metal, every toy was wooden. His baby shoes were clogs, wooden spoons and bowls, and by the time he went to nursery he already had a nickname ‘Splinter’. His first advantage in life was being born in Canada, he was surrounded by trees, fricking millions of them, a lucky lad. From the word go he was unusual, given a silver axe at his christening he soon got the real thing, much to the horror of parents inviting him to kiddies parties, eventually he got the chop. She was a sweet little blond girl with pigtails who tried to offer him a sweetie, the doctors are hopeful that her newly stitched on hand will function properly. This got him grounded for a while but he was eventually allowed in school, although the other kids kept their distance. Teachers were unsettled teaching the crucifixion at Easter, when ignoring Christs suffering his only interest was in the type of nails used? This obsession ran throughout his school life and it was obvious to all he would eventually, like Jesus, become a carpenter. And so it came to pass, his fame spread throughout the land, they waited for his creations and raved over his designs. But he wasn’t happy, the strain upon him was tremendous, even with the best glues he began to fall apart. The loneliness and fame made him ‘come out of the closet’, a closet that was self made. At one stage he even considered drinking, smoking and taking drugs, but luckily he fell in love. Unfortunately she was another’s, with a heart as cold as ice and repeatedly called him an idiot. He still longs to be normal, not an idiot, but that day looks a long way off, prayers for Jointz.

Enjoy playing with you @Themadman!

Hello MadMan great to play with you and welcome to forum

Next Ace mod rotation now running. Rotation #6 25 maps map mp_box_hjacked map mp_counter map mp_brokenroad map mp_barn map mp_cc map mp_cave map mp_brkout_v2 map mp_bo2turbine map mp_aosta_valley map mp_backyard map mp_bo2mir map mp_bo2cargo map mp_bo2frost map mp_bunker map mp_blue_ramshackle map mp_canada map mp_blue_temple_of_doom map mp_coldfront map mp_blackair_v2 map mp_bagheera map mp_backlot_lt map mp_decoy_day map mp_bo2raid map mp_a3_day map mp_df_killhouse Cheers

Rotation for MW2 DM, now running. Small map rotation #12 15 maps map mp_pic map mp_mw2_rust map mp_heavensource map mp_poolday_v2 map mp_kufah map mp_dhdwar map mp_compound_base map mp_bazaar map mp_uber map mp_shipment_island map mp_riveria map mp_pb_iceworld map mp_novoutpost2 map mp_killzon map mp_feuertaufe_final Medium map rotation #12 15 maps map mp_luna2 map mp_osg_metro map mp_twolevels map mp_as_tundra map mp_csgo_office map mp_gisland_re map mp_shantytown_eu map mp_ad_john_killroy map mp_destroyed_village map mp_mw3piazza map mp_showdown map mp_ad_harbor map mp_bo2overflow map mp_downtown map mp_ruins Large map rotation #12 12 maps map mp_lastlight map mp_fr_hv3 map mp_el_aghiela1 map mp_decoytrenches map mp_depot_n_b1 map mp_dd_downtown map mp_bjwifi_port map mp_bpu_shack map mp_ad_sargestation map mp_ad_stendby_ranch map rat_house_v1 map mp_wcc_houses map mp_twin2 map mp_tacticalretreat map mp_renan_bridge4 Cheers

Next rotation for DM3 is now running. Small map rotation #5 9 maps map mp_algiers map mp_cw_abandoned map mp_foxhole map mp_hhk_yokora map mp_killhousev2 map mp_meatgrinder map mp_radiorelay map mp_sandboxn map mp_villa Medium map rotation #5 17 maps map mp_78hellcatraz map mp_agx_depot2 map mp_argentan_n map mp_bloc map mp_carentan_storm map mp_cw_burgundy map mp_desolate map mp_downtown2 map mp_frenchvillage map mp_kneedeep map mp_mohdm1 map mp_nijmegen map mp_psycho map mp_scarecrow map mp_snr_leon_cod map mp_the_cube map mp_wbridge Large map rotation #1 13 maps map mp_1078brecourt map mp_aa_vosges_fr map mp_ax_brecourt map mp_boulogne map mp_contra map mp_dogville map mp_gustav map mp_kwalajein map mp_newsicily map mp_ps7 map mp_shallowgrave map mp_townville map mp_vodka Cheers

Happy Birthday to you all.

HB

Happy Birthday Everyone!

XtremeIdiots would like to wish all members celebrating their birthday today a happy birthday. ChiefBSr (59)Cross (43)WarAngel77 (49)Cliffs_Edge (66)dudebroman (40)

It's going to be hard for me to give up my Ford Transit. There's just something about a vehicle that can do more than run for groceries.

what happend.

Have a GREAT birthday!!!

I used to quite enjoy that ??

He thought he was famous when police kept hollering 'pullover' I'll get my coat

Ssssh! she thinks it's a mirror and hasn't cottoned on why it steams up BEFORE she gets in the shower.

Must suck to be pissed off so many times

Nice car you have Monkey , you have a great day Dunk.

Welcome to the forum

You've already put a camera in her bathroom so may as well be....

Another "hose dragger" lol. Welcome pal. It's a pleasure to have you in the servers.