FluffyBunny

Alcohol & K/D Ratio Study

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So I've invented the perfect drink for Call of Duty, and studied its effectiveness over the last few weeks of playing freeze tag.  I share with you fine folks now the results:

First, the drink.  You may have to improvise some of the ingredients if you're not a chemistry/physics teacher.  Also, it helps to be Irish Catholic.  Irish for the genetic tolerance to alcohol, and Catholic to have the training in dealing with the guilt over things you do when you drink.  The property tax bill is optional.  But it helps in developing the proper level of anger to maximize in-game motivation to kill people.

You start by taking a tumbler glass that you just tried to make a vodka martini in but then dumped out when you realized you don't have any olives. Don't clean it. Take three shots of very good bourbon and pour over ice that's been in the freezer since the first Obama administration. Put a teaspoon of sugar in. Then two shots of bitters that have been in your cabinet for at least a year. Go to the fridge to find a lemon to rind so you can finish the old-fashioned you're trying to make, and realize you don't have any. Remember you've never had any, because you don't like lemons.  Grab some orange preserves instead and, using your pinky finger as a measuring device, put the end of one finger of the preserves into the tumbler. Then a shot of Irish Whisky, to honor the ancestors. Then another shot of Irish Whisky for flavor.  Stir with your pointer finger, before realizing that you haven't washed your hands since setting up a chemistry lab that uses lead and manganese compounds. Set it on top of your incredibly absurd property tax bill as a coaster, which is in turn on top of the four hours of work you have to do before class tomorrow but won't bother starting until the drink is gone. Enjoy. I named it the Dirty Old Fashioned Inbred Irishman, after myself.

And attached is the summary of data I've collected on the efficacy of this beverage in game, along with some anecdotal commentary on some recurring patterns I've noticed while collecting data.

Sláinte Idiots!

 

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Edited by FluffyBunny
Error in graphic

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lmao.. Only from the mind a chemistry professor. And I am funny in all zones.. Just ask me.. As for the penguin zone., lol I bet if you ask around, that would be much larger then shown ...lol Nicely done.. Now as for the drink, You had me at three very good shots of bourbon....

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Last time I played while intoxicated, Lunkster just kept bitching at me the whole game. 

For instance, "Expedition, stop typing smack", Expedition, better be nice or I'll kick you" or "Expedition, you do realize that you have to click your mouse button to freeze the enemy"...

Just so much to remember.................

So now I don't play intoxicated.  instead, I do what WeedNfeed and BoatsNhoes does....  ;) 

Also, Penguin, Ice Queenie and Wild Fire all play like they been drinking for days.  HAHAHA!!!

 Great post FluffyBunny! 

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On 11/27/2017 at 7:38 PM, ANGU5 said:

lmao.. Only from the mind a chemistry professor. And I am funny in all zones.. Just ask me.. As for the penguin zone., lol I bet if you ask around, that would be much larger then shown ...lol Nicely done.. Now as for the drink, You had me at three very good shots of bourbon....

Under 2 drinks and I'm a total gentleman.  Over 4 and I can't get it up anyway, so I don't bother flirting.

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1 hour ago, L!ckALotAPus said:

Now you need to do a study for us pot heads on the affect of weed on your k/d ratio ;)

 

I'm subject to random drug testing, so I'll have to get some of my students to do that one for you.  I'll offer them extra credit.

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The one thing I'd like to point out here is that KDR means jack squat in FreezeTag.

In FFA or TDM  this is an important stat, but due to the mod gameplay, FT stats are better measured by Kills\Thaws.

And Thaws are more points than kills, so..... back to the drawing board? 

:stuart:

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6 hours ago, KicknDatAzz said:

The one thing I'd like to point out here is that KDR means jack squat in FreezeTag.

In FFA or TDM  this is an important stat, but due to the mod gameplay, FT stats are better measured by Kills\Thaws.

And Thaws are more points than kills, so..... back to the drawing board? 

:stuart:

It was a joke.

f3cabe4709ab0e8a26c6f4ad62a8c1ee.jpg

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Very good study.  As a observer of game play and drinking I have noticed on the COD2 games that as Sinbad drinks he gets better and harder to kill.   I may have to follow your recipe to counter act his home made 151  Kahlua.  

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HILARIOUS!!!!  i do seem to play better, in my eyes, after I've downed a bottle of Basil Hayden's.  I think Funky, Penguin and whoever else was on that night would probably disagree, but it sure was a hell of a fun night!!!

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18 hours ago, xHawkx said:

HILARIOUS!!!!  i do seem to play better, in my eyes, after I've downed a bottle of Basil Hayden's.  I think Funky, Penguin and whoever else was on that night would probably disagree, but it sure was a hell of a fun night!!!

I know at one point you passed out on your keyboard and ran in circles around the spawn for an entire round.

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17 hours ago, FUNky said:

I know at one point you passed out on your keyboard and ran in circles around the spawn for an entire round.

FRAMED!!!  i was actually awake, just my head was spinning and it was being reflected on screen!  :-p

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