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Here is mine

Classic. Ronnie Corbett told that joke nearly 50 years ago on the 2 Ronnies.

My nephew is carving one like this as I saw this!

Two Aussies on a plane for a lads fortnight in Singapore, Fred and Tony, Fred's a bit deaf. The Captain announces after take off "drinks will be shortly served by the cabin staff". The Fred asks "wos he say mate ? " Tony replies "tinnies up" ! While later the Captain announces " your evening 4 course meal will now be served". "Wos he say Tony ? " "Tuckers up" ! As they approach landing the Captain says " We will be shortly landing in Bangkok, for those of you on a gentlemans holiday we must advise you 70% of the prostitutes here have HIV or syphilis the remaining 30% have tuberculosis" Wos he say Tony ? "Only screw the ones that cough !"

One day a man decided to retire...~.~* He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank. He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?" She replies, "I rowed over from the other side of the island where I landed when my cruise ship sank." "Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you." "Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of some raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm tree branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree." "But, where did you get the tools?" "Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron I used that to make tools and used the tools to make the hardware." The guy is stunned. "Let's row over to my place," she says. So, after a short time of rowing, she soon docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a long stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please." "Would you like a drink?" "No! No thank you," the man blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another drop of coconut juice." "It's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you like a Pina Colada?" Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There's a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs." No longer questioning anything, the man goes upstairs into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism. "This woman is amazing," he muses. "What's next?" When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned, she smelled faintly of gardenias. She then beckons for him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've both been out here for many months. You must have been lonely. There's something I'm certain you feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for, right?" She stares into his eyes. He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean..." he swallows excitedly as tears start to form in his eyes, "You've built a Golf Course?"

Lost in translation, a common Christmas saying in UK is, ' eat, drink and be merry' Try it again

This is a pumpkin carving thread that turned wicked...lol

nope???

Happy birthday!!

Happy Birthday everyone.

Happy Birthday!

XtremeIdiots would like to wish all members celebrating their birthday today a happy birthday. Mekketom (45)Jaxx.xi (49)Ripper (58)

Halloween Spooktacular 25 maps put in rotation 10/31/25 by Pengy map mp_bo2slums map mp_graveyard map mp_borisbeta map mp_hhk_ballroom map mp_dustcod4 map mp_lab map mp_ad_kittycity map mp_psycho map mp_dahman_b41 map mp_howling_night map mp_strike map mp_bo2_town map mp_gb_bunker_b1 map mp_dead_lawn map mp_shantytown_eu map mp_cave map mp_novoutpost2 map mp_agx_nightmare map mp_creek map mp_contamination_one map mp_matroska map mp_slaughterhouse map mp_corningstone map mp_darkforest map mp_tigertown_v2 Server restarted @ 12:48 a.m. EDT by Pengy Enjoy!

Yea but pulled pork isn't a quick meal, have to investigate corn meal don't think they have it here?

Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite – All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.

Heynow! 72901998

just good ole back bacon breaded with corn meal and keep the intestines for sausage casings after washing them out with brine pulled pork

As a lifelong meat eater, and enjoying all of them Beef, Lamb, Pork, Venison, Rabbit, Duck, Chicken, I've even tried some others, I have come to the conclusion that of all of them my favourite is pork. In fact I've just finished some pork loin, which is why I'm typing this, I'm no Timmah but do my own cooking, as the wife thinks the smoke alarm is a timer. I've salivated at some of your smoked meats, which is just taking off here, but wonder if any of you have any quick pork recipes that you think are delicious? The common ones in the UK are in cider, grilled and roast, I know I can go on Youtube or similar but some of you must be good cooks?

Red sec is free but it's only battle Royale.. still fun tho for those that want to try it before buying

Have a GREAT birthday!!!!

thought it was rump roast for TBB in turn other cheek lots of meat

have you moved OS's win 10 to win 11 to game now. also using pod's to move, need to pack them solid for are 45-50° angle to load pod ,heavy appl's an piano need to raise on 6 blocks spread length and nail them to floor, tie off to upright sills so not to move during transport and rear door need plywood and 2x4 in X pattern in front of rear door to prevent door from jamming up when want to unload.