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How Santa Claus joined XI


HarryWeezer

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T'was the night before Christmas, and all through XI;

"Not an Idiot is stirring," he said with a sigh.

He wanted to game it, but none were online;

He next tried Ventrilo, no Idiots to find.

 

His wife having left him, from years of abuse;

His drinking and whoring had left no excuse.

So that even his doggie, once there at his feet;

Had pissed on his slippers and shit on his sheet.

 

And as Idiots both here and in countries abroad;

Celebrated with family the birth of the Lord.

There sat poor Rugger, just more of the same;

No friends to share drink with, nor even to game.

 

When out in the back yard there arose such a clatter;

He wiped off the tears to see what was the matter.

He ran to the window without lifting the sash;

It took eighteen stiches, to sew up the gash.

 

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow;

Gave pause to consider what tits were below.

When what to his red, bloodshot eyes should appear;

But a rusty old Ford with a bad steering gear.

 

With a little old driver, his hand on his stick;

Rug knew in a moment it must be Saint Nick.

He was dressed in red undies with a bag at his side;

And jerked on his wanker while trying to ride.

 

He smashed into a tree and bounced off of a wall;

and knocked Rug's front porch to the back of the hall.

He climbed out of the wreckage still holding his dick;

And said to poor Rug "Where's the party, you prick?"

 

"Not here, that's for sure," Rugs explained to the drunk;

"They've all gone and left me, yes, even that cunt.

"If you want a Budweiser come in if you please;

"I'm so lonesome I'd even get down on my knees."

 

"So tell me your story," St. Nick asked of Rug;

"Why is it you're feeling like some lowly slug?"

"Has everyone left you because you smoke weed?

"Because you're a drunk or don't see to their need?"

 

"Oh, in part that is true," Rug told the old twit;

"Without any doubt I'm a large piece of shit."

"But what did me in, and it's surely no lie;

"Was all the time spent, in running XI."

 

Bewildered and drunk, St. Nick had to ask;

"What in the hell is XI you dumb ass?"

"It's a large group of gamers, the best you will find;

"We shoot at each other, and do it online."

 

"There's Greywolf and Ph4nt0m, and RickJames and Rock;

"There's X-Ray and Bama and SirHurtsALot.

"There's Harry, that good looking man about town;

"And P-Man and Loader and Beers, that old clown."

 

"There's 500 member or so in the clan;

"And we are the best to be found in the land.

"The wife said 'it's me or XI you old fuck;'

"So I gave her the keys to my old Chevy truck."

 

 

"We play Call of Duty and some other games;

"It's all I've got left or I'd just go insane.

"And now that it's Christmas, I just want to find;

"Some idiots to game with, to help pass the time."

 

 

Santa spoke not a word, but went stright to his work;

He pulled out his laptop then turned with a jerk.

And found Rugger's network and with so much ferver;

He fired up death match and hit XI's server.

 

 

"I'll frag your nube ass, I'm ready to fight;"

And Santa and Rugger went at it that night.

They played for 10 hours, on two-hour shifts;

And children worldwide awoke with no gifts.

 

 

And when it was done Santa took off his hat;

"Fuck flying with reindeer, I'm through with all that.

"I'm done with those elves and Mrs. Claus' pie;

"I want to be part of this clan called XI."

 

 

He sprang to his phone, to his team gave a whistle;

"You can all go to hell, or go suck a thistle."

And I heard him exclaim, 'ere he hung up that night;

"I'm now in XI so fuck Christmas. Good Night."

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CHEERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Good one Harry

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Very good, Harry!!  And thanks, Rugger for making the kids cry all over the world!!  LOL!!

 

Hey, my bother-in-law wrote a great one after he and his wife got food poisoning on Christmas Eve one year. I'll post it later!

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LMAO Nice !!!

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That was just great Harry.I really liked it. Cool

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LMAO!!!   That was good.  :)  Nice job!

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Thanks for the great laugh!

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That was awesome!

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LOL Nice Harry !

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Good job, Harry

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good Job

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Great dam work brother...Good laughs..even tho I had to break out the DICKtionary...lmao

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Nice!

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Great work mate lol.

Thats a bit like the one I did last year lol I will try to find it

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Very nice nHarry! Really good but one point you forgot! When you mentioned Harry you left out he was an old fart pervert! LOL! I thought it was funny!

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