Suicide

[FunStick]

A few years ago I found out that one of my old friends from my UT 2000  gaming days killed himself.  He was super depressed.  His girlfriend at the time was cheating on him and she was pregnant with another mans kid.  He pretty much did everything he could for her and nothing worked.   He disappeared for years, and then I found out he killed himself due to depression. He stopped talking to everyone,  stayed to himself, he had a good job, but the pain was eating him up inside.  We all go through things in life, and we have our ups and downs, but if anyone who is reading this has thoughts of ending their life or ever has, you need to reach out to someone - XI or not.  We are gamers, but most importantly, we are a family.  

[Kitsune]

I'm so sorry to hear this happened to your friend. I've lost a friend to suicide myself and I don't think I ever fully recovered from it, you always get the 'what if' feeling hanging over you. I make it a point to be there for people now, even if I come across as overbearing or clingy, I want them to know that I care and will hear them out.

Edited May 30, 2021 by Kitsune

[Icequeen]

That is very painful thing to go through. Sorry about your friend. Love ya @FunStick

[Bama]

Depression and anxiety problems are huge, and most men don't like to talk about problems to others. I can tell you for a fact that just talking about it with another friend, or even a professional, is a big boost to getting better. I've been there, and many others have too. Seeking out someone you can just talk to about it is a big step to recovering and getting your life back in order. I speak from experience.

[Timmah!]

Heyyyy.... I had the distinct pleasure of living major clinical depression in my 20's.  Words can't describe the many layers, facets, breadth & depth of major depression.  It excoriates you, warps your sense of self; shit, it changes who you are.  Everything takes on a tinge of desolation; the sun seems blisteringly cold & the mornings were- for me- the worst.  Apathy, melancholy, anger, paranoia, deep sadness way out of proportion to anything happening in one's life.  I was fortunate to find a counselor to walk with me through my travails & provide me with the skills my parents couldn't & didn't.  On the bright side, there's not much that can trouble me any more & I have a greater true appreciation of life & its joys.

[RobMc]

I'm contemplating suicide, 3 times last week I was killed by MajBasil ?

[Majbasil]

LOL ROB, getting off the floor now, and wiping laughter tears off my eyes.  Yes, believe it or not, I on occasion do kill successfully with my little three shot wonder, just got lucky hehe.  

NOW ABOUT DEPRESSION:

Yes, I think most of us know at least one person who has killed himself/herself.  We are complicated we really, really are.  How many of us from time to time get super depressed and so on?  I think this modern society of ours is not super great for us.  Too many folks live alone, especially the older generation!  They are super lonely.  Just driving to and fro everywhere stopping at every damn intersection for the light is super depressing for many.  We need sunshine, we need community, we need to be productive and so on.  I have found that groups with similar issues really help, for example, I have chronic migraines and it sucks!  I have a group of folks and we all discuss our migraine stuff and we feel so much better being able to complain, sympathize, and be in this together in our group.  I think of it as group counseling.  Another thing, some folks brains just don't have enough "happy stuff" in them, hence the meds like PROZAC works! 

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Treatment consists of antidepressants

The mainstay of treatment is usually medication, talk therapy, or a combination of the two. Increasingly, research suggests these treatments may normalize brain changes associated with depression.

 

To anyone who talks about suicide, or being depressed, I do mention the benefits of Antidepressants.  It helps the brain get back to where it is supposed to be, with plenty of Serotonin.  https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/serotonin

 

 

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Types of depression

Symptoms caused by major depression can vary from person to person. To clarify the type of depression you have, your doctor may add one or more specifiers. A specifier means that you have depression with specific features, such as:

• Anxious distress — depression with unusual restlessness or worry about possible events or loss of control
• Mixed features — simultaneous depression and mania, which includes elevated self-esteem, talking too much and increased energy
• Melancholic features — severe depression with lack of response to something that used to bring pleasure and associated with early morning awakening, worsened mood in the morning, major changes in appetite, and feelings of guilt, agitation or sluggishness
• Atypical features — depression that includes the ability to temporarily be cheered by happy events, increased appetite, excessive need for sleep, sensitivity to rejection, and a heavy feeling in the arms or legs
• Psychotic features — depression accompanied by delusions or hallucinations, which may involve personal inadequacy or other negative themes
• Catatonia — depression that includes motor activity that involves either uncontrollable and purposeless movement or fixed and inflexible posture
• Peripartum onset — depression that occurs during pregnancy or in the weeks or months after delivery (postpartum)
• Seasonal pattern — depression related to changes in seasons and reduced exposure to sunlight

 

But wait there is more:  

 

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Other disorders that cause depression symptoms

Several other disorders, such as those below, include depression as a symptom. It's important to get an accurate diagnosis, so you can get appropriate treatment.

• Bipolar I and II disorders. These mood disorders include mood swings that range from highs (mania) to lows (depression). It's sometimes difficult to distinguish between bipolar disorder and depression.
• Cyclothymic disorder. Cyclothymic (sy-kloe-THIE-mik) disorder involves highs and lows that are milder than those of bipolar disorder.
• Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder. This mood disorder in children includes chronic and severe irritability and anger with frequent extreme temper outbursts. This disorder typically develops into depressive disorder or anxiety disorder during the teen years or adulthood.
• Persistent depressive disorder. Sometimes called dysthymia (dis-THIE-me-uh), this is a less severe but more chronic form of depression. While it's usually not disabling, persistent depressive disorder can prevent you from functioning normally in your daily routine and from living life to its fullest.
• Premenstrual dysphoric disorder. This involves depression symptoms associated with hormone changes that begin a week before and improve within a few days after the onset of your period, and are minimal or gone after completion of your period.
• Other depression disorders. This includes depression that's caused by the use of recreational drugs, some prescribed medications or another medical condition.

 

[Timmah!]

16 minutes ago, Majbasil said:

I have chronic migraines and it sucks!  I have a group of folks and we all discuss our migraine stuff and we feel so much better being able to complain, sympathize, and be in this together in our group.  I think of it as group counseling. 

Have you ever logged your diet?  I've known a couple people whose migraines were mainly caused by certain foods; or so they concluded.

[RobMc]

2 hours ago, Majbasil said:

LOL ROB, getting off the floor now, and wiping laughter tears off my eyes.  Yes, believe it or not, I on occasion do kill successfully with my little three shot wonder, just got lucky hehe.  

You're great with that gun now, we used to take the p..s, not any more you're deadly, proves sticking at it works, well done.

ps put the finger back, I liked it better lol

[PainKiller]

As someone who was severaly depressed and suicidal a good 5-6 years ago now, I can tell ya, it isn't easy. I really feel for you fuckstick, going through that loss of a friend in such a way is terrible. I almost offed myself a few years ago, planned it out and everything but the one thing that stopped me was that I didn't want my mom to be sad. And such a silly sounding thing was the one key thing that kept me on this earth. Now I have so many more reasons.

It took me three sets of therapy and a different assortment of medications and massive life changes to get me better and to where I am now. There IS help out there for people who need it, but I hate the stigma of "man up" or "get over it." Stuff like that doesn't help. Yes I am better than I was 5-6 years ago but I am a long way from being top-ticket. I get bad bouts; ended up in hospital last November because of my anxiety and depression and only recently finished therapy and getting help.

4 hours ago, Timmah! said:

Heyyyy.... I had the distinct pleasure of living major clinical depression in my 20's.  Words can't describe the many layers, facets, breadth & depth of major depression.  It excoriates you, warps your sense of self; shit, it changes who you are.  Everything takes on a tinge of desolation; the sun seems blisteringly cold & the mornings were- for me- the worst.  Apathy, melancholy, anger, paranoia, deep sadness way out of proportion to anything happening in one's life.  I was fortunate to find a counselor to walk with me through my travails & provide me with the skills my parents couldn't & didn't.  On the bright side, there's not much that can trouble me any more & I have a greater true appreciation of life & its joys.

I hear you there completely Timmah, it changes you but you can get through it, you and I are living examples that this stuff is possible to get through. The help I got got me through it and taught me so many life lessons that I try to pass on to others when they too are troubled.

[El_Terrible]

Timmah, Bama and Painkiller thank you for sharing your personal struggles with depression. I believe most people struggle with it at some level at some point in life, whether they've identified it as depression or anxiety or not.  I'm generally pretty optimistic and upbeat, but I've been to some dark places in my 56 years. I've sought therapy and it helped. Talking through it with people who understand or care works for me and when I start feeling low, I reach out. I've lost a couple of friends to suicide and I have a lot of people in my life who are in a constant struggle with anxiety and depression. I'm here for them to listen, talk, whatever they want. Same is true for any of you. 

What a great group of people this is! Proud to be a part of XI

[RobMc]

Now Rob jokes about everything, but please listen to me, great pressures are put upon young people now, far more than in the past. Please please use your brains and think yourself out of any suicidal thoughts, simply because nothing will be accomplished, only deep sorrow for those you leave.

You ARE NOT too fat, too thin, not cool, ugly, thick, etc etc etc, these thoughts are programmed into you by others, once you realise that deal with it. The way to deal with it is not to take your own life, but to live the life you're given, it may not be the dream life, but it is yours.

Life is very precious, and I know as I am nearing the end of mine, those who speak here I play with daily, they are nice normal people despite what they might think. Everyone gets down on occasion, especially in your teens, you must work your way out of depression, and I mean 'work'. It is easy to lapse into laziness, laziness means not caring, not caring means low self esteem, low self esteem encourages suicidal thoughts.

There will be many idiots in this position, get out of it by literally working, I'm not talking about a job necessarily, I'm talking about giving something, and getting it in return, but without an effort it will never happen, work at something it is the path out. You may never be on Love Island, or a millionaire, or a celebrity, but if you can hold your head up in society as someone who tried you will be a hero in all our lives.

Don't ever give up.

Rob (who almost died 2 weeks ago)

[Hoth]

Sorry to hear about your loss friend. Good that your talking about it and reaching out to others here.

[Timmah!]

Aerobic exercise like walking, where you raise your heart rate even modestly for a period of time helps immensely; the only issue is willing & doing it when you wish to do nothing.