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Three women die together in an accident And go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, ‘We only have one rule here in heaven: Don’t step on the ducks!’ So they enter heaven, and sure enough, There are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, And although they try their best to avoid them, The first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, ‘Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to Spend eternity chained to this ugly man!’ The next day, The second woman steps accidentally on a duck And along comes St. Peter, Who doesn’t miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together With the same admonishment as for the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, Not wanting to be chained For all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months Without stepping on any ducks, But one day St. Peter comes up to her With the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The happy woman says, ‘I wonder what I did to deserve being Chained to you for all of eternity?’ The guy says, ‘I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck.’

Okay this sounds awesome. I'll definitely be there the 20th.

Justin, Loader and I last night were talking at length about the fact that we knew is most likely you and your Dad. I am also sure Bart had the same talk with Loader since we have been doing this a long long time. I liked your Dad at first but then he became a real pain in the ass for most people and I got tired of saying oh that's just Spiv. As Loader said and if you read closely we keep very good records of bans, names, ip address's, guids and a lot of other data that you give up when you play and post on here. There is no way in hell that this ban will ever be lifted and this is from the entire XI Clan not just those of us on the COD2 server. XI will now be on the watch for anyone in your general location logging into anything we operate so I suggest you find different servers or games we don't play and run. Tell your Dad hello and that he has not been forgiven and most likely never will but he is not the first nor the last. You are a proven Cheater/Hacker and we have never allowed anyone back who does this sort of thing period. So let this go and have a nice life but you were caught red handed and will give us another great story to tell about how the XI COD2 Admin Team is the best in the business.

A Vicar was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners, who he knew was an unkempt housekeeper. When he sat down at the table, he noticed that the dishes were the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life. “Were these dishes ever washed?” he asked his hostess, running his fingers over the grit and grime. She replied, “They’re as clean as soap and water could get them.” He felt a bit apprehensive, but blessed the food anyway and started eating. It was really delicious and he said so, despite the dirty dishes. When dinner was over, the hostess took the dishes outside and yelled to her two dogs “Here Soap! ... Here Water!”

An old lady went into a bar in Dallas, TX and saw a cowboy with his feet propped upon a table. He had the biggest boots she’d ever seen. The old woman asked the man if it’s true what they say about men with big feet being well endowed. The man grinned and said, ‘Sure is, little lady. Why don’t you come to my apartment and let me prove it to you?’ The old woman considered she might never get an offer like this again and was curious to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him. The next morning she handed him a $100 bill. Blushing, he said, ‘Well, thank you, I’m really flattered. Nobody has ever paid me for my ‘services’ before!’ ‘Don’t be flattered’ she replied... ‘Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit... ‘ ... Women can be so cruel!!

A few of us may qualify, but I'm not naming any names

We gets calls every year form people who do it online and really fuck things up The whole "interview interface" that these online systems use leaves out many important "deductions, stipulations and requirements" . A computer interview can not dig deep to see if one qualifies for certain tax breaks. Looks like a deadline extension may be announced at some point. July 15th like last year is my guess.

Yeah, well; except that 2 minutes into itemizing one can see the .58/mile deduction is orders of magnitude more profitable. Then again, why was I conversing with a flippin' stuffed t0y, anyway. I mean, I don't talk to my bacon or pork chops before I fry them. Then again, sometimes I do. "Man, you're gonna taste sooo good, little buddy..."

yall pay taxes?

He probably means, you don't know what you don't know kind of thing lol

Ooop welcome to my world lmao

Special thanks to all who made the Happy Hour Medal possible: @LilAcorn @ROCKAPE and of course @WldPenguin !! You all rock!

On their first night together, a newlywed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom showered and wearing a beautiful robe. The proud husband says, “My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe.” The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished. “Oh, oh, aaaahhh,” he exclaims, “My God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture. Puzzled she asks, “My picture?” He answers, “Yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever”. She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, “Why do you wear a robe? We are married now.” At that the man opens his robe and she exclaims, “oh, OH, OH MY, let me get a picture”. He beams and asks why and she answers, “So I can get it enlarged!”

Sweet innocent granny Spratt was at the doctor getting a physical. After the exam the doc asked her if she had any issues she wanted to discuss “Well, I’ve been really gassy lately. But since they are silent and have no smell it isn’t a big deal, in fact I’ve let about 20 go during this exam.” So the doc wrote her a prescription and told her to come back in a month. A month later granny returned to the doctor “I don’t know what was in those pills you gave me, but my farts have started to have a horrible stench.” The doc said “Good, now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, we need to get you a hearing aid.”

@ANGU5 needs a special medal for 9 hours straight of happy hour!!!!

That would be great!

mp_red_sparrow

Hey just dropping a post here to introduce my self to the community. I am brothers with Zappy he has told me about you all many times. He told me you started a UT server and I figured it might be time to hang out. I run around in COD servers mostly but always willing to try new games. I had a Clan back in the day called )BoM( in UT99 and made a ton of maps for it. (Still Have em) Thinking about re-making them in 2004 we will see how it goes. I will pop in the server a few times a week and run around maybe I will see some of you on the line (Get it?)

Grubhub, doordash, instacart, postmates, etc. So, Independent Contractor. Other than the mileage, supplies & meals is about it. Took like 20 minutes.

lol anyway as I recall in Canada you use to be able to sign your tax return add your paper work and send it in. The revenue service would complete it for you for free. It just took them longer to process

...Right?...

Pengy is not going to like this ?

You come into our forums expecting us not to know who you are...Well truth be told you can not try to sneak into our servers with multi guids after you were banned live streaming while using cheats, might I add on twitch while using gaming hooks Are you still on twitch by the way ? ( twitch.tv/2timezzzz ) Trump/justin/TwotimeZZ/twotimeZZjustin/twotimeZZ #NWO or whatever name you are using... Your fathers game name was $piv At the end of the day here you were banned for the final time in 2015 (7/30/2015 7:11:10 PM) and later under your fathers guid (12/28/2015 7:14:32 PM) and name no matter how many guids or ip's you try to use we will always know who you are on any of our servers As Blackbart stated there is no appeal for this or any other future bans you may get here and im sure there will be more Appeal denied based on previous ban's ***This thread can be closed and archived and the user banished from our website as well***

We knew who you are. This ban and the previous ban that sparked this one will not be lifted...

im 25 we've never hacked he was in xi years ago his name is spiv and i currently go by justin ingame

Thank you guys !

different version,,you have to hide and hold the flag,,in CTF you have to return it to the spot

Anyways, No fun could shoot across the map; even set up a giant target billboard that spanned a goodly portion of the map, just to make sure. Helped me dial it in to the proper distance so everybody was in range.

Fun fact. In the normal game all bullet weapons have the same max range of 6000. From pistols to snipers.

The biggest punishment here is that u can't enter the game (just now) because u are redirected, room being made for Clan members...

Have a GREAT birthday!!!

Do you cook Russian food??

But he's already an >IDIOT<!!

Grew increasingly annoyed at the lack of counter space; being relegated to a small patch between the fridge & stove, or either of two just-as-small patches between either side of the sink & walls. So, with the help of my buddies Rudy & Det, I built a custom bench affording me a little more space. Not bad for ~$50.

I would like to say Thank you as well. I received mine today it is Awesome and Looking forward to the next Happy Hour

Happy Birthday and have a great day

Happy birthday all!!

welcome, I always have great pleasure in killing you in a good mood of course

Haapy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Welcome to the forum and enjoy the servers

I thought it was called capture the flag.

Hey there, I was itching to replace my old faithful Intel i7 4770K OC'd t0 4.0GHz (mild), 16GB of DDR3 1600mhz and GTX1070. It has not been passed on to my wife. I finally managed to find an Asus RTX 3070 Tuf OC in a local shop on the West coast. If you follow the hardware scene, you know that its been super hard to find the Nvidia RTX 3000-series cards since launch. Scalpers have jumped on them, re-selling on E-bay for twice the card's worth. And/or miners cut deals with manufacturers to buy bulk and availability for the gamers have been very problematic. Because shops dont want to say no and want to keep customers happy, they dont want to sell all their cards to crypto miners, they want to sell to peeps that order other parts from them, aka a pre-built. I like to build my own, but this time, its was a little bit different. This is what i got, had good prices for what it is. I splurged too much on the motherboard, but its both a beauty and a beast. Beautiful beast lol. I probably won't push it to its limits right now, but its got room for overclocking in the future. 10700K, closed-loop 240mm Lian Li water cooler, 32 GB of Kingston Fury 3200mhz CL16, RTX 3070, MSI Z490 ACE motherboard, coolermaster H500 case with a good Corsair RM850x power supply. SSD is a 1TB Samsung 970 EVO PLUS NVME drive. Can't complain! There is always something new around the corner (aka z590 and Intel 11th gen, or ryzen 5000 (unavailable)), so yes I could have waited for something new, but with covid, its hard to find parts at launch without being price-gouged or suffer from early adopter fallouts. The picture doesn't look too nice, and the protective film on the case window is still on. I will remove it once I move into my new home. Your thoughts?

I would be interested in a Immunity for Head Admins Server

Yes, and we'll be posting it again as it gets closer to the next one.

Hmm, somehow I missed the thread earlier. Sounds like a fun idea, I'd join next one if I can!

If I want to get in this next meeting, do I use the same link, ID and password? Thanks, Flybyyr