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WHY WE LOVE OUR CHILDREN!! NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!' OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents ..' KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone.. It was the minister calling, 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now, She's hitting the bottle.' MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?' POLICE # 1 While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?' POLICE #2 It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.'It sure is,' I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do? ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!' DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.' 'And why not, darling?' 'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.' DEATH While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.'(I want this line used at my funeral!) SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!' BIBLE A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out. 'What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'

Lol

Hey, buddy, you must be referring to @EastCoast50 and @icequeenherb, right? Just guessin'. Ayaq P.S. - Domestic Violence is no laughing matter, really. My "delete" or "backspace" keys don't seem to be working, however.

It's Football Season again! An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.' His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man replied, 'its fart football.' A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score...' After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.' Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.' Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on for the old man. He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard! Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally shits himself. The wife says, 'What the hell was that?' The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides

Shout out to @Angelz for the awesomely idiot-approved sig! Since @EastCoast50 has everyone convinced I attempted to poison him on several occasions I found this fitting! haha. @Mr_Wick and @spinpuppy... you guys still want that sammich? The ugly ass dog is my beloved Herbie that is part of my moniker. Thanks again Angelz! YOU ROCK.

I played many years ago with Belted on a server where you couldn't stay in one spot very long about 10 seconds I think. You would be moved back to the spawn area so that stops alot of camping as well.

Throw in no recon and thats a 1st place badge with bragging rights!!!

Had an idea a while back. Straight FT, bolt rifles only, no scopes, no rifle nades, no RPGs, no flame throwers, no marty, everything things else goes. No more than 10 players per side played on small to medium maps with no tanks.

This is the rotation I'm putting in this week....as of right now though I am having trouble with the redirect and may not get it in until later today...or even tonite. Sorry for the delay...Its either me that's being technically challenged or something else. Stay tuned for the update.!!! mp_78auenwald mp_78bathroom mp_82ab_panzerwerk mp_mohdm7 mp_myths_farm mp_republic_1 mp_snr_carentan mp_snr_freedom2 mp_snr_kassel mp_snr_st_mengs mp_snr_treblink mp_snr_vimyrd mp_snrtrondheim mp_snrcarentanxm mp_agx_destroyed mp_blood_island mp_ratskitchen mp_downtown mp_roundhouse

Great idea Hunter. Would help keep the game moving.

This must be the same couple?

Wel i'm startjimx or was startjimx F u edd

Rotation 16 26 maps by sally rot3 put in by dadda2 31 08 18 map mp_4hanoi map mp_beltot map mp_fav map mp_blackrock map mp_tigertown_v2 map mp_moh_sfrance_b1 map mp_psycho_day map mp_burgundy_bulls map mp_castle_v1 map mp_4t4scrap map mp_dustcod4 map mp_cod4_torn map mp_fart_house_v2 map mp_caen map mp_argel map mp_uphill map mp_hangareturn map mp_winter_bakaara map mp_coldfront map mp_chateau4 map mp_ancient_ultimate map mp_area52 map mp_dust2_classic map mp_offices_v3 map mp_meanstreet2 server will need restart admin please post this thread when done enjoy

Happy Birthday Marskeman Happy Birthday and have a great day

Your welcome!

get rid of that big ship map !!!!!!!

Rotation 5 25 maps Put in rotation 31 08 18 dadda2 map mp_osg_backlot_n map mp_outset map mp_vac_2_snow map mp_agroprom map mp_backlotair_b1 map mp_borisbeta map mp_cassino map mp_coldfront map mp_cuf_scifi map mp_dv map mp_forsaken map mp_forgotten_v1 map mp_gf map mp_highrise map mp_inferno map mp_kk_arena2 map mp_lost map mp_mw2_term map mp_nova_crvenka map mp_roundup_day map mp_seatown map mp_warehouse_13 map mp_aquadukt2 map mp_whatif map mp_xi_lobbyb1 server will need restart admin please post this thread when done enjoy

Well Sept 2 i've had my tags for 9 years , I started playing on the server with Johnny Dos , Beers , and Amboy duke it's been fun most of the time. I've seen alot of changes over the years and met alot good people . I can't believe that i have played the game this long and my wife can't either . So to many more years of playing lets continue to have fun i do.

Hey, Power? Congratulations, buddy. You, sir, are a rarity around these-here parts 'cause you treat people with respect. You are about as rare to find as a frog's hair. Lol. Ayaq P.S - Hey, Strapping Gents (?) of >XI< and Lovely Ladies of >XI<, I forgot to say I was mostly kidding. Lol. P.P.S. - @pwrcrzy52, I forgot to mention the song I used to type AND/OR sing to you was: "I got da Powa!! It's gittin', it's gittin', it's gittin' kinda hectic . . . It's gittin', it's gittin', it's gittin' kinda hectic . . ." P.P.P.S. - LMFAO!!

Hi, Jimmy. Your thread title reminds me of that slow song (can't remember the band's name), but read the following slowly and act sadly: "If you don't know me by now . . . . . . ., you will never-never-never-never know, me . . . . ." Or something like that. Lol, Jimmy. Ayaq

He was at Niagara Falls..Where were you? Congratz pwr..

You need to get to a couple Fests too!

Sharpe is right..Same 3 fking maps all day yesterday..grrr

Lol

Yes Lets play on The bo2 server

Sry for ur loss Lovyan and family.

Sorry for your loss

My condolences to you and your family.

Sorry for your loss....

my Condolece to you and Family

So excited that you are part of XI, congrats Ms. @icequeenherb !!

Welcome to the clan Herbie! Now make me a sammich!

Happy Birthday Fuck Face!

I made some more sigs and desktops. Some of the desktops are pics I found on the internet that I liked.

don't have a clue i can see it .. if your taking the viagra pill ..make sure it says made in the USA. we dont want the Russians meddling in our erections

Welcome ! You're now a real idiot !

I still can't see SHIT!

OO IM ON CATCH UP Welcome to the madhouse you idiot

Welcome to the family of idiots ..

Welcome to XI. Cheers

Welcome

About time Killer, welcome, no fighting with you know who.

A farmer went to a local pub and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman sitting next to him said, ‘How about that? I just ordered champagne, too! ‘‘What a coincidence’ the farmer said. ‘This is a special day for me. I am celebrating.’ This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating,’ said the woman.’ ‘What a coincidence!’ said the farmer. As they clinked glasses he added: ‘What are you celebrating?’ ‘My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynecologist told me that I am pregnant!’ ‘What a coincidence!’ said the man. ‘I’m a chicken farmer and all last year my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying eggs again.’ ‘That’s great!’ said the woman, ‘How did your chickens become fertile?’ ‘I used a different cock,’ he replied. The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said ‘what a coincidence’!

Happy birthday, @EastCoast50, and I've been on the lookout for your associates "HandJob20" and "Around-the-World100." Many more to you, sir. Ayaq

Happy Birthday and have a great day

I want to Thank @Angelz for the truly awesome signature. After a couple of brief emails determining and capturing a vision and executing it beautifully! @Angelz has an amazing talent, we are lucky to have her hanging out here!! THANK YOU!! -YACC