if you don't see me playing....

[Janey]

if you don't see me playing....please call me or msg me to hop on. My psychiatrist says it's very important to do the things I enjoy, but I get too depressed to play. I'd really appreciate if. if you want my phone number, just pm me. I'm hoping there is one person who considers me a friend and do this to get me out of my funk.

I'd also like to join the zoom calls.

Thanks.

Edited April 2, 2021 by Janey

[WldPenguin]

Janey, it will be nice to have you join our virtual happy hour  

[Majbasil]

Hey, I don't know what you are going thru or feeling, but sounds like you are a bit depressed?  Have you tried any of those anti-depressants?  (Prozac, for example)  Some folks have less serotonin in their brains, some have a lot more, I think Goldie Hawn is famous for having a lot of serotonin, making her basically happy thru life.  Heck everyone should have the ability to be happy thru life, right?  So having a med that will up the serotonin that might do the trick.  Also, changing things up - a move to a new place or new town or new career, a new hobby, follow your bliss, learn a new topic that interests you.   Gosh this world is so fascinating and there is so much out there to wonder about. ANYHOW, here is a link about depression and meds -->  https://www.brainfacts.org/diseases-and-disorders/mental-health/2019/rethinking-serotonins-role-in-depression-030819   hope that helps, feel happier  Springtime is such a pretty time of year.  

[Mule]

I really love you post but your so  have depressing posts! The years Ive  been here always looks like your trying to get  attention?

[Mule]

Just now, Mule said:

I really love you post but your so  have depressing posts! The years Ive  been here always looks like your trying to get  attention?

I Know it sucks to be broke!

 

[Mule]

I really care for you as an >XI>Member!

[J3st3r]

4 hours ago, Mule said:

I really love you post but your so  have depressing posts! The years Ive  been here always looks like your trying to get  attention?

 

If she lived closer to me I would giver her some "attention" lol

[Kitsune]

7 hours ago, Mule said:

I really love you post but your so  have depressing posts! The years Ive  been here always looks like your trying to get  attention?

I know you were probably drunk when you wrote this since you seem to be drunk a lot but this is a disgusting attitude to have. Fuck you. 

Janey is fucking brave as hell for being so open about her mental health. How fucking dare you attempt to rebute that by suggesting that it's attention seeking. You realise that's why most people don't speak up about their struggles right? You realise that's why people fucking kill themselves right??

Again, fuck you, and lay off the booze before you start judging others.

 

Janey I don't know you very well but I'd love to see you in game more, shoot me a message whenever you feel, you're never a burden to anyone here.

[RobMc]

Yea Janey we all love you girl, take no notice of the haters, keep fighting my dear, you'll get there.

[Snow White]

On 4/4/2021 at 11:54 PM, Mule said:

I really love you post but your so  have depressing posts! The years Ive  been here always looks like your trying to get  attention?

Unbelievable...

[Snow White]

On 4/5/2021 at 4:54 AM, J3st3r said:

 

If she lived closer to me I would giver her some "attention" lol

The same applies to you...

 

[J3st3r]

11 hours ago, Snow White said:

The same applies to you...

 

 

Piss off she is my friend. Me and @Janey always joke around about stuff like that. But seriously moving out of the city would help her depression immensely. I wouldn't move into a city or suburb for anything. 

 

I know a thing or 2 about anti-depressants. After a while you build up a tolerance to the damn things and you depend on them to function. I've had friends that I grew up with that were on anti-depressants. A couple of them took what they thought was the easy way out and committed suicide but most of them became alcoholics or moved up to hard drugs and either died from overdose or were court ordered into chemical addiction rehab programs. It's not pretty any way you look at it.

 

If something stresses you out or makes you depressed? Get away from that thing and stay the hell away from it. Remove 1 small thing at a time and you will feel better about your self daily. Trust me I've been through more shit than 1 person should ever have to endure both mentally and physically. No BS I love everybody unless they give me a reason not to. And no I'm not gay @RobMc don't even ask lol.          

Edited April 7, 2021 by J3st3r

[RobMc]

1 hour ago, J3st3r said:

And no I'm not gay @RobMc don't even ask lol.  

Never thought you were son, and puzzled why you asked?

Give me a kiss and I'll tell you who is    

[Kitsune]

On 4/5/2021 at 9:54 AM, J3st3r said:

 

If she lived closer to me I would giver her some "attention" lol

You can give me some 'attention' if you want

[J3st3r]

Kissy Kissy @Kitsune lol

[PHUCKITMAN]

12 hours ago, J3st3r said:

 

Piss off she is my friend. Me and @Janey always joke around about stuff like that. But seriously moving out of the city would help her depression immensely. I wouldn't move into a city or suburb for anything. 

 

I know a thing or 2 about anti-depressants. After a while you build up a tolerance to the damn things and you depend on them to function. I've had friends that I grew up with that were on anti-depressants. A couple of them took what they thought was the easy way out and committed suicide but most of them became alcoholics or moved up to hard drugs and either died from overdose or were court ordered into chemical addiction rehab programs. It's not pretty any way you look at it.

 

If something stresses you out or makes you depressed? Get away from that thing and stay the hell away from it. Remove 1 small thing at a time and you will feel better about your self daily. Trust me I've been through more shit than 1 person should ever have to endure both mentally and physically. No BS I love everybody unless they give me a reason not to. And no I'm not gay @RobMc don't even ask lol.          

J3st3r you make a valid point about people with Anxiety and Depression self medicating with all sorts of things but mostly Booze and Hard Drugs that lower those feelings of not fitting in, or being filled with worry, or that your life is hopeless, that no one cares etc. Putting chemicals in our bodies that alter our personality to make ourselves feel better has a very long history and it is only in the past 40 or so years that Doctors have studied patients brain chemistry. Some people go thru these sorts of feelings because of their personal environment like a abusive home or lack of opportunity like a good job but most people who stop for whatever reason self medicating are found to have chemical imbalances not always in their Brain but most of the time that's where Dr.'s find the cause for abusing Drugs (That includes Booze), chemicals low or missing in patients brains or bodies. Moving is rarely a solution that works because it doesn't matter these days where you move you can find drugs and booze. I have not had a Drink or used any hard drugs in over 20 years after 3 inpatient attempts to quit drinking and using Coke. The 3rd time it stuck but my first wife moved us across the Country in 1989 to get me away from my friends who used and supplied my habit and it only made me angry. I felt forced to relocate and isolated since I had zero friends when I got to North Carolina from Balboa Island in Southern California where we had a beautiful house and I had lots of business success and tons of friends. Sure our house in NC was awesome but I was lonely and had to restart my business from scratch. I tried to quit in 1991 but the first wife had no interest in supporting me trying to sober up. When I quit drinking and doing hard drugs in 2000 it was because I had enough of feeling like shit all the time and becoming a asshole to the woman I had just married told me I needed to quit or we wouldn't last and I knew she was right and she was beside me the entire time. I quit everything for 5 years and got medication for my anxiety and raising my serotonin levels to normal levels by keeping the blood from absorbing this important Brain Chemical. I started smoking High Grade Marijuana because it helps raise my serotonin levels and is natural. My wife was the one who supported this change because I had a high stress job and she knew how much I liked to light up a joint after work and when out fishing or camping and found the research that showed it could help and like she said when I smoked Pot I didn't become a asshole like I did when I drank and did loads of coke. Everyone's story is a little different but the solution is the same find a Dr' you trust and be honest about your feelings and how you try to deal with those feelings. You are right about 1 step at a time but quitting needs to be all at once to let your body clean out and stabilize so they can find out the best treatment for each person. And for anyone giving others shit like @Snow White don't know how many people who met here in >XI<'s forums and games that became happy couples in spite of the miles and oceans between them. People meet members of the sex they are attracted to in many different ways and this is just one more. If someone is making comments that offend the person they are directed towards will be taken care of if the offended person complains. We have removed guys and gals from the clan for being rudely suggestive to someone or many someone's so telling someone your opinion about a comment not directed at you is just you being nosey and thinking what you post will change the world, well it won't you are just butting in. Most people who get offended here by someone flirting with them take it privately to Sr. Admins for help or their close friends in the Clan. @Janey please remember things will turn around and you will look back and say to yourself wow I have grown a lot and come a long way. Sharing what you are feeling takes a ton of courage and I say Bravo. Nobody knows what others are going thru unless they trust us enough to share and sometimes folks with these issues only feel comfortable sharing the bad stuff because they don't feel worthy of the good things in their life @Mule. It may not be about drama as much as reaching out for anyone who will listen without judging them and saying things that could hurt their feeling and make others distrust them. I hope everyone finds the balance in their lives and stop judging others and spouting mean words at each other myself included. @RobMc and I got in to it and we don't even really know each other at all and have never been friends or shared anything to each other about our lives but on here we went at it. I let anger get the better of me and did and said somethings about another human being I couldn't pick out of a 3 person line-up. There is always hope and you never know when it will show up. Janey Keep the faith 

[RobMc]

Respect for that my new found friend, that has touched me as it is from the heart.

 

Rob

 

 

 

 

[PHUCKITMAN]

On 4/7/2021 at 7:10 PM, RobMc said:

Respect for that my new found friend, that has touched me as it is from the heart.

 

Rob

 

 

 

 

Are you being facetious? Whom are you referring to @RobMc

[RobMc]

51 minutes ago, PHUCKITMAN said:

Are you being facetious? Whom are you referring to @RobMc

No I'm not, I'm trying to be nice, that was a nice post and must have taken ages, stop being paranoid and defensive, I meant well.

[PHUCKITMAN]

10 hours ago, RobMc said:

No I'm not, I'm trying to be nice, that was a nice post and must have taken ages, stop being paranoid and defensive, I meant well.

Not so paranoid as I was not wanting to assume anything. I agree it would be better if we both were a little more kind to each other. I just posted from my experience dealing with both addiction/self-medicating and then finding out the most likely cause for my crazed actions back in the 1980's and 90's. Don't get me wrong I had some epic times while wasted out of my mind as that was the thing to do back then, SEX, DRUGS & ROCK and ROLL and all but it took it's toll and I had to pay the piper. Once my mind and system was clean and clear I was able to have Dr's help figure out the root to my issues. I look forward to not being on your bad side. 

[RobMc]

4 minutes ago, PHUCKITMAN said:

Not so paranoid as I was not wanting to assume anything. I agree it would be better if we both were a little more kind to each other. I just posted from my experience dealing with both addiction/self-medicating and then finding out the most likely cause for my crazed actions back in the 1980's and 90's. Don't get me wrong I had some epic times while wasted out of my mind as that was the thing to do back then, SEX, DRUGS & ROCK and ROLL and all but it took it's toll and I had to pay the piper. Once my mind and system was clean and clear I was able to have Dr's help figure out the root to my issues. I look forward to not being on your bad side. 

That is what I read, let us start afresh, accept me and I will accept you, your honesty is refreshing and truly touches me, as I said 'respect' a word now politically tainted, but not to us old guys. To prove to you I mean it I'll start to do the quizzes again, no arguments, I'll explain.

It is very very easy to Google questions or use Wikipedia, but I do not do this when I do quizzes, why?, well I also want to learn things. Some quizzes take about 30 mins, others hours, depending on what they are,  fact is they're not going to be perfect 100% of the time. But they're for fun, not cash, mistakes will be made but can't be corrected once the first person takes it, I do my best.

Would you not get pissed when after 2 hours work, and your best efforts, a load of flak arrives at your door? It has happened before of course but up to now I have been proved right. It won't be a surprise to most but heavens to Betsy there are fraudsters out there on the internet.

As with you I do my best for the clan, just accept that just like facts, I'm not perfect, although our ladies might argue  .

[PHUCKITMAN]

I agree with you 100% about putting in hard work that few see for others benefit and enjoyment and then to have shit and disrespect as you say arriving at your door was the hardest part I have had being a Admin/Head Admin when it would have been easy to just flip to maps I liked and owned people on or taking the time to get evidence on a player using a hack or cheating so our bans stick. I enjoyed the quizzes and felt really bad that they stopped because of my smart mouth and no inflection or tone added to just text. I would be happy to make up some quizzes about American Sports and Rock I would be happy to do them. For 2 years 5 days a week in 2014-2016 on my Facebook Page I posted a "Classic Rock Trivia Question" and stumped my friends a few times even after hints. I did it part as a journal for myself about the shit I remember about the music I love and from my "Glory Days" and in part to teach my friends all who are about 60ish how to use Google to look shit up, then I worded it in such a way you had to ask google the answer to get the question. Still have friends asking for more and also lost a few acquaintances over disputes about a question I posted and that their answer was very very close but not the right answer. Looking forward to seeing your work and again PM me or post how to put some together to add for folks to take and bitch at me because I don't know what I am taking about and how my wife makes more money in 45 minutes than I do all week. That's why I make she work 40 hours a week damn it we need the money JK lmao 

[Timmah!]

https://youtu.be/NNC0kIzM1Fo?t=38

 

[Timmah!]

Exercise helped me more than any SSRI's years ago...it was just a Herculean effort to maintain in the midst of major clinical depression.  Paxil helped & detracted the most.  Improved my mood, but made it hard to get, well...hard.  And that's fucking -because not so much- depressing in & of itself.  Stuck between a rock & a not-so-hard  hard place.  But it -exercise- is, along with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with a counselor of my choosing for a couple years, what helped me.  That Noonday Demon hasn't returned in 20 years or so; & I'm not looking for the motherfucker, either.  =D  The best to describe what really must be experienced to be understood was Andrew Solomon in his book I earlier referenced.  Insightful opus.  Anyways, you guys snap out of it.   Should look-up his Book T.V. appearance on CSPAN2...should be able to find it on youtube.  That's actually some of the best programming I've watched & I highly recommend it.  Except you, Hammer.  You're goofy, & that's a whole different subject.  Here's his TED Talk.  Good stuff.  

 

Edited April 10, 2021 by Timmah!

[RobMc]

Yep, we all have our troubles but we shouldn't fight amongst ourselves, at least not seriously. This post began with Janey, and bless her she needs our help and friendship, as well as our support, understand her suffering and admire her honesty, she deserves no less from the clan.

I too am suffering, I am in great pain, and as you notice am sleeping even less than normal, managed a couple of hours, so might be a bit slow in game today, life's a bitch but it's still life, fu.