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I've been down and out for a little while now because of a health issue I had, I'm still recovering but I will be good to go by later this weekend or Monday at the latest. Hope to be back in the servers soon to kick your asses, what I really miss is hearing all the whining and bitching, can't wait to hear it again, you don't know how much you love something until it's gone

I just wanted to say thank you to all who responded for my call for help. I used to be able to do all this stuff but my memory these days seems to be quite lacking. I am back to full power and my system is running cooler than it ever has. The SSD is a vast improvement and I love the speed it works even on the community access I am on. My temps are all around 30 degrees C and I don't remember when that was ever the case. Thanks again maybe I can install COD again and come and play some. We will see how that goes. Once again THANK YOU ALL!

Glad to hear you are getting your hemorrhoids under control...

Thanks everyone for the advice. I've been diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety disorder with panic attacks. I've also been seeing a psychiatrist for the past 6 years and am on antidepressants. About 6 years ago 2 of my brothers and my only sister died, then I had a nervous breakdown. I'm not ashamed to talk about it as it is simply the way I am now. I also have a degree in counseling and am now seeking a position through my Parrish as a peer support specialist. I obviously go through severe depressive episodes... which is why I posted. I get to a point where I'm so depressed that I forget to do the things I enjoy. As I consider many of our clan members as friends, I hoped ppl would reach out. And some did. And I played and felt better.

Hope your well soon!!!!!!!!!! Found a nurse for your rectal temp.

I'm not trying to get attention, I'm reaching out for help.

I can help you out tommorow around 4 est. Let me fix the virus infected one, and also help you get the new one running. We will do video chat. You get to see my pretty face

The member story Hi, my name is Fatzi and I promised to make and to share a story with you. Believe it or not; you are an important part of it. Without knowing you actually made this story… Curious? Well…. Then sit back, read the story carefully and you’ll find out where you make the difference…. It was on a hot summer day when walked to my car to go to Wallmart and get me Ice some . Just before getting to my car I noticed I forgot my car Key. So I returned to my house, grabbed my key and returnd to my car. Arriving at Wallmart I parked my car in the Shadow. I had to Cross the parking lot to get to the entrance. I noticed that the Little old man, usually begging for sigaretts wasn’t there. So I asked security where he was. “6FtUnder“ the security guy replied in a tone as if he had already answered this question many times before that day. And it was only just 8.30 AM.. I was still digesting the terrible news when I walked into the Wallmart. Looking for ‘my’ Princess, always dressed in P!nk. She works at the ice Crusher. That’s why I call her the Icequeen. I ordered the usual amount of crushed ice and promissed to be back soon. On my way to the The last cold beer that I was going to buy this week I grabbed myself a Big Cheese, some Pancakes, some Buffalo wings and a nice big Steak. I couldn’t find my brand of Razor, so i went to the cassier. There I walked up to my old Buddy and Chief of police Brick. I call him Brick because of the shape of his face. We always laugh about it. His real name is Rick and he's a real Nice Guy. While waiting at the register I asked how about his new investi Gator. He was actually very positive about him, calling him a 007and a half. “But I am the best Fatzi ” he said and pointed at his Badge. I laughed and payed my groceries with my creditcard. “See you at the BBQ Brick”. He gave me a confirming thumbs up and continued his way. Getting outside the heat overwelmed me… “Damn climate change” I mumbled like a Grumpy old man and continued loading my shoppings into the trunk of my car. Suddenly there was this Flash and immidately Gunfire. My instinct made me drop myself on ground, on the hot concrete of the parking lot. From underneath the car I saw something that looked like a Corpse. That thought hit me like a Bomb Shell. What should I do? A Bullet struck the car behind me and in a split second I thought I could become a Casualty. Still lying on my stomage I observed a Crazy Girl running towards the suspect, Fearless and like a real Kamikaze she ran to the shooter, determined to Kill that Beast. And she actually managed to work him against the ground. Within seconds the whole parking lot was full of police, fire and ambulances and press…. A lot of press. Foxxx News was one of the first at the scene; Primetime! Later that day I heard the guy with 7 Toes was the active shooter. That Moron had killed before. It seemed he was a race fan. My buddy Brick was Chasing him already for 4 years now, but today he made his last victim; he Lost. I hope the Judge will give him a permanent ‘time off’ … That night I was watching some television and went to bed early. The next morning I went to my trip Adviser to discuss the planned Expedition to hunt for some Beargoat. Me and my so called lesbian neighbour Allison, a Fanatic Gatorgirl, decided to go for a hunt together. This AusiGirl with Cute boobies enjoys the Freedom in nature with only minor Comfort like I do. In the past she wanted to become Astronomer but she actually became a Seal, a real Predator. Pretty comfortable having her arround me. There was a kind of chemistry between us, but not the one you would expect. 4 days later we went into the Mountains of Texas. When we parked our car a Hawk was circling above us as if he welcomed us to his territory. Or did he already know what was lying ahead of us? We walked for almost 6 hours when we decided to pull up our camp. After having some noodles we prepared for the night. We talked a bit about everything and nothing when Allisson asked: “What is your favorite singer?” “Elvis” I said “Cool, I like his music too”. She turned on to her left side in her Cotton pyjamas and wished me good night. I wished her the same. In the middle of the night I woke up and looked arround me. Allisson was gone. She disappeared like a Ghost. On the fabric of the tent I saw this little moving red Dot. Outside I heard a Crack. Was it Allisson or was it a Moose or a Black Cat or maybe a Crazy Horse? With almost Nosleep I prepared for the worst. I took my rifle, loaded it and slowely pulled down the zipper of our tent. My eyes had to adapt to the darkness for a couple of seconds, but then in the moonlight I could clearly see the silhoute of a woman. “Allisson?” I said and slowely lowered my rifle. “What are you doing outside? Are you okay?”. There she was, standing a couple of feet away from me like a Boogyman. In the background I heard a Big Dog barking, probably an AlphaDog. Then I heard her saying, almost whispering “run… run….” But why? “Allison are you okay? What's wrong with you?” and again I heard her saying…. “run… run…” This time much louder. I got scared and automatically raised my rifle. Then, out of nothing and from a clear sky Thunder and Lightning struck and now I could see her face…. a complete Nightmare … She had turned into a Zombie. Just before I wanted to shoot her, a familiar voice told me to lower my weapon. It was Brick… “Brick… what the hell are you doing out here? What is going on?” “Saving your asp buddy” Brick almost laughing. But his tone was getting more serious when he told me to step back and to lower my rifle. “Normally we should blow a zombie into peaces with some Nitro, but I called my friend Lazy Marcky, he has worked with Biotech.” “And..?” “Well, he is a real Mutant Destroyer, he was actually D man and Eraser of the Mad Cow desease. He has the Power to save Allisson's life!”. “And how is he going to do that?” I asked Brick “With an Uranium bullet..one shot only” he said. “Fatzi go back to your tent and call Rescue 911. Lazy Marcky is preparing to launch the perfect shot to save Allison's life, but we need an helicopter” I stepped back and went into the tent to get my IPhone to call Rescue 911. While reaching for the Phone I noticed a sharp sting. Immediately my hand got swolen and burned as if he was on Fire. I just had been bitten by a Black Widdow and jumped outside the tent. I grabbed a Rock went back into the tent and smashed that freeking animal like a Tiger. I quickly took a Painkiller and rushed outside. Moments later I heard a gunshot from Lazy Marcky’s Silencer and heard a big Zombiefart. Allisson went down and Brick rushed to her aid. Allisson was heavily shaking but her face slowly turned into normal. Brick said: “You can now Switch-off the red dot Lazy”. Lazy Marcky just showed that he was a Master in shooting Uranium bullets. Lazy joked: “I did not want to use a Stinger on your lovely neighbour…Fatzi” I heard the helicopter approaching and after a couple of minutes we were air lifted to the nearest hospital in a Black Bird. The docters took Allison to take care about her and one of them, certainly not a Rookie, promised me that everything would be fine. I don’t know why, but I took him by his shoulders and said: “Just make sure you give me my Baby back”. “You will get her back, don’t worry” he said as he continued his way to the Emercengy Room. In the waiting room I noticed a small vase in the Window with only one Black Rose in it. Strange…. Why only one? An older man came into the waiting room and took a seat at the opposite of me. The big tatoo on his right arm was made to be seen.. a big White Dragon. He shuffeld arround in his backpack and then he offered me a Cookie. “No thanks, I just took A Tasty Peanut” I said. I asked him if his tatoo had a meaning. “Well, long time ago I was a Dragon Slayer before I became a Swiss guard”. “A Swiss guard?” “Yes… I worked for the famous Red Baron.. He lived in a castle where Dragons were The Enemy.” I looked at his eyes and I could tell he was lying like Pinnokkio. I watched the time go by and my body started to hurt as if I’d been involved in a car Crash that day. Again the man with the tatoo offered me something else to eat. “Here you go, take a Nacho with Olive flavor”. This time I could not resist. He would think I’m a Noob if I would refuse for the second time. I looked at the Digital clock and noticed 2 hours went by when suddenly some stupid Monkie entered the waiting room. He had a smell on him…..terrible. It must have been my poisoned expression when he said: “Yes Sir, Fart a lot “ and started to play Pacman on his Ninentdo. To kill the time I opened a magazine where I read an article about El Presidente, that Pyro dude from Mexico that smuggled 100 kg of narcotics over the Stretch into the US, all by Mule. Major Mark alias Kapt Crunch from the US border patrol arrested him. My eyes were getting heavy. Only16Characterz more my eyes could read and placing them in the right order. I was too tired to read anly longer... Just at that moment Athena a young nurse entered the waiting room to tell Allisson was fine and being dressed with some hospital cloths. For me that was The Hammer; I didn’t expect I could bring her home so soon. Athena gave me Allissons cloths. They were ready for the Scrapper. A few moments later my dear neighbour was standing right in front of me. Healty as if nothing ever happened to her. “We went to War Angel” she said. Allisson and the nurse smiled. “Come on babe, I’ll bring you home”. Together we walked to exit.. No I am married to Allisson for over 15 years and I want to give you one good advise: If you feel the Sparks, Hunt them down and you will get your long desired Wild fire. Fatzi-Sgt

OK Got the 2nd one on the 7th of April. Arm hurt like hell on the 8th, like nothing happened on the 9th. My wife though.....was pretty sick for a couple days. We are both fine now

Why certainly buddy, here's a few examples for you :- 'They escorted me to my cell', in this instance the they referred to, in the past indicitive, are the police, who completely got the wrong end of the stick at the women screaming upon my last park visit. 'They all love me', antiphrasis in this example referring to those who read my posts in our forums (beat that @Timmah!) 'They are far better players than me', present indicative, meaning every fckr I play against nowadays 'They said they thought I was becoming immune to penicillin at the STD clinic', subjunctive, words I only now recall. So 'they' buddy can be used in lots of ways, just like the broad spectrum antibiotics in the clap clinic, 'they' spreads faster than Chlamydia when used in conversation, especially about officialdom. 'They' refused to give me a loan, 'They' don't know their arse from their elbow' are day to day phrases you often hear when gossiping, they can be complimentary i.e. talking to gorgeous neighbour 'They are a fine pair of top bollocks you have there my dear' or can be derogatory ' I hear they think your dick is tiny' (I hear this far too often for comfort) A useful word in any context, was this any use Wayne ?? Rob, consultant to the idiots

I heard THEY make penicillin for that! Hope you’re on the mend. Who the hell are THEY? We all refer to THEY! THEY say you can do this and that! Can anyone enlighten me who THEY are? @RobMc you’re a man of research could you help a fellow idiot out?

So many of you do not know me,but will tell a story that may help Janey. When i was younger [ yr away from 60 now] i tried to commti sucide twice as you can tell not succesful, hated way i looked,when really down not uncommon to run into a mirror,did cut myself lucky not to the extreme,saw Doc got pills,sold em,was determined never to take them, then at 40 everything hit me like a steam train, lost 5st[70lb] in 3 months started drinking heavily at weekends,was still eating well,but ignored it,weight loss hid extra layers,till one weekend,got totally smashed drove home tarmac looked like pitch black no light job,made it home whole 1/4 mile,on the Saturday walked into the pub got confronted by bar staff, any more that two, if we have to pin you down were taking keys off you,got home later[ will say was staying at exwifes,we now back together as moved out for a yr],she invited an ex girlfriend round[ lol it was when i was 16 they get on great and always take the piss out of me lol], my missus made me lif up up my top to show how much weight i had lost, basic all that was there was a ribcage and no stomach[skeletal] she burst into tears and said " what have you done],thats when the bells went off i realised i was in trouble. *** weight 14st 196lb to 9st 126lbs roughly So off to Drsi went got offered Prozac few others sleeping pills and because of rapid weight loss pills for maybe stomach ulcers, as well as a voluntary 2 week stay in a Physco Hosp,which i turned down nicely,So the Point!! tada For many you have to realise your in trouble and take the responsibilty,but to help yourselfyou have to take charge of the noggin[ brain],pills yeah they will help, but unless you take control to there just a crutch,as for the pills never took one, i framed the script,things got bad use to look at it as say no chance,. Yes friends helped a bit ex to, but i had to make myself smile again[ which helped a lot] also remembering theres many many more people on this planet that are a heck of a lot worse off than you or i am and have barely nothing. Yeah sometimes you find that corner to have a cry, but smile its one of the best cures we have,BUT YOU NEED TO HELP YOUR SELF TO or IT wins,freinds colleagues all can help but you are the one that needs to do it. Things sometimes may look like it will never end,but it will ,you will get there,you will have many more ups and downs ,smile your not going to let it win. Yes i am Male 59yrs old and not afraind to talk about it also an ugly bastard lol as you can see here lol .

Ok boys and girls, we can start again now

I know you were probably drunk when you wrote this since you seem to be drunk a lot but this is a disgusting attitude to have. Fuck you. Janey is fucking brave as hell for being so open about her mental health. How fucking dare you attempt to rebute that by suggesting that it's attention seeking. You realise that's why most people don't speak up about their struggles right? You realise that's why people fucking kill themselves right?? Again, fuck you, and lay off the booze before you start judging others. Janey I don't know you very well but I'd love to see you in game more, shoot me a message whenever you feel, you're never a burden to anyone here.

After my 2nd Moderna shot on Wednesday I went to bed with a sore arm and a little headache, then I woke up on Thursday and felt like Phuckitmans turds. The headache I had was the worst I have ever had, every joint in my body hurt. I can't remember a time that I have ever felt so bad, even my worst hangovers didn't feel this bad. I went back to sleep at around 7am slept all day till 4pm, woke up and felt 95% better just a little lingering headache. I had dinner then watched a show, went back to bed and woke up this morning 100%. I sure hope these scientists know what they're putting in my body!

As a family we are heartbroken our youngest of 3 dogs took ill on Saturday Morning by 4pm we were at the vets saying goodbye to him. Noah was the most gentle funny loyal dog.

Good day folks, Thought we'd try something different for a server option and that is a bolts only server @ IP 149.56.146.66. I've checked out some bolt only type mods and to be honest, I like the Openwarfare mod for its customizability. So, this has been setup using the stock Open Warfare mod but I've added modified weapon files for the bolt action guns. Some of the features are as follows: - Bolt only weapon selection - Attachments of bayonet or nothing - Certain frag nades - No grenade launchers or explosive/weapon type perks - Camping is limited so keep moving - No bunny hopping - No mini map but have radar - No artillery, dogs, or vehicles - ONE SHOT KILL This has been set up more as semi hardcore with a bit of balance to try and get some tactical but still fun play. Check it out and let me know what you think, likes, dislikes, and/or suggestions. Starting map rotation (15min rounds) // Rotation 1 37 maps map mp_alcazaba map mp_asylum map mp_bf1942_berlin map mp_poolshark map mp_cassino5 map mp_cw_breakout map mp_deadwood map mp_dropzone map mp_frenchvillagen map mp_hunt_winter map mp_line_of_fire map mp_louret map mp_mohdv2 map mp_newvillers2 map mp_pavlov_h map mp_ravine_v1 map mp_snr_matmata map mp_tge map mp_waw_burgundy map mp_broadcast map mp_agx_depot2 map mp_anbinh map mp_ax_dawnville map mp_bgate map mp_chateau map mp_cw_burgundy map mp_desolate map mp_frucanal map mp_down_trodden map mp_makin map mp_montelimar map mp_pds map mp_rb map mp_snr_kassel map mp_toujane map mp_wbridge Currently this is setup as DM but can set it up with other modes as well. Hope you enjoy. Cheers

My heart goes out to you and your family. Had a wonderful dog for 17 years - she passed 35 years ago and In still thing about her every day!

Sorry to hear Baldie...I can not have pets for that reason...Surely we will out live them and losing a dear friend is far to traumatic for me...I know how you must feel and please except my condolences

I am so sorry to hear that my friend.

Well that sucks. Very sorry for your loss.

Breaks your heart doesn't it buddy?

They sure to love us with all there hearts. Losing pets is so sad sorry for your loss Baldie

yes and btw it seems to have worked itself out! I now have sound on my TV! I don't have a clue as to how but it did!

Get well fast Rugger.

Panic attacks are horrible.. My psychiatrist has me on seroquel & alprazolam.. Seroquel helps a lot with sleeping.. Xanax with panic disorder..

Funsticks a lovely man isn't he ?

yes pistol is a machine gun compare to bolt

found it had too refresh master

Yes unless I missed a spot. Haha but should be.

Hey, all! Next Saturday will be our monthly meet up on Zoom for XI's Virtual Happy Hour. Details with the link and times will be posted later this week, but make plans now to be there. Get your favorite beverages lined up, set aside the time to relax and have fun while getting to know members of your XI family outside of the servers during an always fun, always laughter-filled, always worth it good time! Medals are given for those who attend. We will be designing new medals for those who attend 3 months consecutively, as well as some other fun surprise medals. We're also looking to incorporate some virtual happy hour games and possibly have prizes. You won't want to miss this, and everyone is welcome. Hope to see you all there!

Steel Series Arctis Pro Wireless: https://steelseries.com/gaming-headsets/arctis-pro-wireless I use the wired version and it's stellar.

Yep, we all have our troubles but we shouldn't fight amongst ourselves, at least not seriously. This post began with Janey, and bless her she needs our help and friendship, as well as our support, understand her suffering and admire her honesty, she deserves no less from the clan. I too am suffering, I am in great pain, and as you notice am sleeping even less than normal, managed a couple of hours, so might be a bit slow in game today, life's a bitch but it's still life, fu.

J3st3r you make a valid point about people with Anxiety and Depression self medicating with all sorts of things but mostly Booze and Hard Drugs that lower those feelings of not fitting in, or being filled with worry, or that your life is hopeless, that no one cares etc. Putting chemicals in our bodies that alter our personality to make ourselves feel better has a very long history and it is only in the past 40 or so years that Doctors have studied patients brain chemistry. Some people go thru these sorts of feelings because of their personal environment like a abusive home or lack of opportunity like a good job but most people who stop for whatever reason self medicating are found to have chemical imbalances not always in their Brain but most of the time that's where Dr.'s find the cause for abusing Drugs (That includes Booze), chemicals low or missing in patients brains or bodies. Moving is rarely a solution that works because it doesn't matter these days where you move you can find drugs and booze. I have not had a Drink or used any hard drugs in over 20 years after 3 inpatient attempts to quit drinking and using Coke. The 3rd time it stuck but my first wife moved us across the Country in 1989 to get me away from my friends who used and supplied my habit and it only made me angry. I felt forced to relocate and isolated since I had zero friends when I got to North Carolina from Balboa Island in Southern California where we had a beautiful house and I had lots of business success and tons of friends. Sure our house in NC was awesome but I was lonely and had to restart my business from scratch. I tried to quit in 1991 but the first wife had no interest in supporting me trying to sober up. When I quit drinking and doing hard drugs in 2000 it was because I had enough of feeling like shit all the time and becoming a asshole to the woman I had just married told me I needed to quit or we wouldn't last and I knew she was right and she was beside me the entire time. I quit everything for 5 years and got medication for my anxiety and raising my serotonin levels to normal levels by keeping the blood from absorbing this important Brain Chemical. I started smoking High Grade Marijuana because it helps raise my serotonin levels and is natural. My wife was the one who supported this change because I had a high stress job and she knew how much I liked to light up a joint after work and when out fishing or camping and found the research that showed it could help and like she said when I smoked Pot I didn't become a asshole like I did when I drank and did loads of coke. Everyone's story is a little different but the solution is the same find a Dr' you trust and be honest about your feelings and how you try to deal with those feelings. You are right about 1 step at a time but quitting needs to be all at once to let your body clean out and stabilize so they can find out the best treatment for each person. And for anyone giving others shit like @Snow White don't know how many people who met here in >XI<'s forums and games that became happy couples in spite of the miles and oceans between them. People meet members of the sex they are attracted to in many different ways and this is just one more. If someone is making comments that offend the person they are directed towards will be taken care of if the offended person complains. We have removed guys and gals from the clan for being rudely suggestive to someone or many someone's so telling someone your opinion about a comment not directed at you is just you being nosey and thinking what you post will change the world, well it won't you are just butting in. Most people who get offended here by someone flirting with them take it privately to Sr. Admins for help or their close friends in the Clan. @Janey please remember things will turn around and you will look back and say to yourself wow I have grown a lot and come a long way. Sharing what you are feeling takes a ton of courage and I say Bravo. Nobody knows what others are going thru unless they trust us enough to share and sometimes folks with these issues only feel comfortable sharing the bad stuff because they don't feel worthy of the good things in their life @Mule. It may not be about drama as much as reaching out for anyone who will listen without judging them and saying things that could hurt their feeling and make others distrust them. I hope everyone finds the balance in their lives and stop judging others and spouting mean words at each other myself included. @RobMc and I got in to it and we don't even really know each other at all and have never been friends or shared anything to each other about our lives but on here we went at it. I let anger get the better of me and did and said somethings about another human being I couldn't pick out of a 3 person line-up. There is always hope and you never know when it will show up. Janey Keep the faith

The same applies to you...

Yea Janey we all love you girl, take no notice of the haters, keep fighting my dear, you'll get there.

XtremeIdiots would like to wish all members celebrating their birthday today a happy birthday. Destructo --Yop (40)Princess (45)Sf.Petru (47)Wardogs411 (31)monkie (52)

Hey, I don't know what you are going thru or feeling, but sounds like you are a bit depressed? Have you tried any of those anti-depressants? (Prozac, for example) Some folks have less serotonin in their brains, some have a lot more, I think Goldie Hawn is famous for having a lot of serotonin, making her basically happy thru life. Heck everyone should have the ability to be happy thru life, right? So having a med that will up the serotonin that might do the trick. Also, changing things up - a move to a new place or new town or new career, a new hobby, follow your bliss, learn a new topic that interests you. Gosh this world is so fascinating and there is so much out there to wonder about. ANYHOW, here is a link about depression and meds --> https://www.brainfacts.org/diseases-and-disorders/mental-health/2019/rethinking-serotonins-role-in-depression-030819 hope that helps, feel happier Springtime is such a pretty time of year.

Happy Birthday to all of you !

Happy Birthday to you All

Happy Birthday! Joyeux anniversaire ! Guys

Have a GREAT birthday everyone!!!

Happy birthday

Happy birthday to a great bunch!!! cheers!!!

Happy Birthday everyone

Happy Birthday folks,hope it's a good one.

Happy Birthday and have a great day